Tag: philosophy

The Power of Acceptance

Introduction

I like this quote by Eckhart Tolle, especially the part “accept it as if you had chosen it” versus accept it because you are forced to. We often say we accept something the way it is, but do we really? It is usually more like I say I accept this, but it still pisses me off every time I think about it. This thing that I accept has tons of emotional baggage that I associate with it. I think it is stupid, I think they are ignorant, and on and on. So much for any real acceptance. In this post, I will outline the power of acceptance and what you can do to bring more acceptance into your life.

Options

To understand real acceptance you might want to look at it as a response to a situation where acceptance is one of three options:

  1. Accept
  2. Change
  3. Avoid

You know you read a lot from the hustle culture crowd and the so-called productivity experts about never quitting. It’s as if you have no options and you are a complete idiot preferring masochistic tendencies to logical thought or maybe even freedom from whatever is tormenting you. Sometimes taking the exit door and “avoiding” the situation makes the most sense regardless of what the productivity geeks think. Then there is the option of embracing the situation but with the caveat that it must change for you to accept it.

What is acceptance?

The act of accepting something or someone : the fact of being accepted : APPROVAL acceptance of responsibility. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/acceptance

When I think about acceptance I normally think about it in terms of accepting a life situation, but one can also think of it as acceptance of one’s self.

Example

There are times when a good example can add a lot of value when trying to delve deep into a concept. I recently went through a 6-month long experience that should help in this regard. This example of the need for acceptance came when I was a consultant for Amazon Web Services (AWS). I won’t mention who the customer was, but suffice to say it was a company in the Financial Services industry. The customer wanted to create a voice bot to handle calls about tax forms and account balances. The engagement was woefully underfunded and got off to a rocky start as the handoff from Sales to professional services was not as thorough as it should have been resulting in AWS professional services staffing the project with resources that did not have the right skill set. A couple weeks into the engagement I was brought in to replace the current Engagement Manager and the project was paused a few days later.

Without going into excruciating details what ensued was just one big shit show with an escalation by the customer every other week. This caused a fire drill with Amazon’s management and basically, I and others on the team were in a reactionary mode, that continued through the end of the project. The stress level was through the roof and it was difficult to maintain a positive attitude as the attack and react situation never ceased. I had considered retiring at the end of 2023, but when they came to me to bail out this engagement I decided to help out. I did my best to accept the situation, doing my best to make things better, but they did not get better. In this situation, acceptance helped me and other team members focus on delivery, while AWS management tried to pacify the customer. Leaning into acceptance was about the only option we had because the only other option for me was to quit my job at AWS. I would be lying if I told you I didn’t consider it, but then my loyalty to my team always prevented me from taking an exit to rid myself of this situation.

Choosing acceptance was really my only option. Fortunately, this was a project and was bound to end at some point, which made things a bit easier. I think if this would have been some more permanent situation, I might have decided to do something else. Accepting that this engagement would be a shit show to the very end helped me get through this situation. However acceptance did not alleviate the stress, but it did cement my resolve to do everything I could to deliver something valuable to the customer. That’s the thing about acceptance, sometimes it is all you have when the situation cannot be avoided. Being willing to say I’m going to go all in and accept the cards I’m dealt, making the best of a bad situation is necessary at times. Conversely, if every time you face some kind of difficulty and refuse to practice acceptance you will forever be running away from your problems or making them more difficult to endure.

Examples of what I had to accept during this engagement:

  • Critique – The customer criticized just about everything our team did and would not compromise or adopt any of the processes that we wanted to use during the engagement. We had to accept that this would be the case until the end of the engagement.
  • Escalation – As I mentioned the customer had a real knack for escalating to AWS upper management on Friday nights. This always created a fire drill as AWS management was in a hurry to craft some kind of response as quickly as possible. After a while, I just began to expect it and at least for me I became less reactive and emotional about it.
  • Help from Management – As this customer was thought to be a high-value account I was getting a lot more help from our leadership, which I wasn’t used to or really wanting. Rather than making a big deal about it and resisting their help I just smiled and accepted it.
  • Culture – I would say 2 or 3 months into this engagement I figured out that the customer would use leverage to get what they wanted through intimidation by threatening to cancel the engagement. They would not accept AWS as a partner but instead viewed us as a vendor to be berated. The customer culture was one of getting what they wanted via the stick versus the carrot. For a company that had been around for more than 100 years, I accepted that this aspect of their culture would be impossible to change.
  • The End – This was the end of my career at AWS. As this engagement unfolded I saw this as a sign from the universe or maybe a lesson learned. While I had accepted my fate during this engagement I learned that acceptance is not the only option. Even the strong finish on this engagement still left me feeling that there would be repercussions career-wise for the way this had all played out, and I didn’t want to stay around and find out if that was true or not. So not only had I accepted my fate during the engagement, but I accepted that this would be the end of my consulting career.

Road to Acceptance

There are certain things that are enablers of acceptance. I mention a few of these below that I think about when making a choice to accept a situation in my life. These include but are not limited to timing, expectations, self-acceptance, accepting others, and not accepting.

Timing

The timing of embracing acceptance is crucial. In my example above I struggled during the first couple of months to accept the situation. I complained to management about the customer, made numerous attempts to create relationships with them, and suffered from my lack of acceptance. It was kind of a pity party in my head. Why me? Why did I accept this assignment? I had numerous reasons that would not allow me to walk away from this situation but I failed to accept it early on. It would have been much easier to as Eckhart Tolle stated “accept it as if you had chosen it”. The lesson learned here is that if you decide to do something accepting the situation early on will save you untold amounts of pain and suffering. Making the decision to accept your situation the good, bad, and ugly can bring you closer to peace and mindfulness than non-acceptance.

Expectations

While the timing of when you embrace acceptance is an important aspect, equally is your expectations. You know those things we play out in our head, conversations, reactions, and outcomes. These are our expectations that set the stage for how we think about our situation or others. The thing with expectations is that sometimes we think a project will result in a certain outcome, but the reality is when things don’t go as planned we are disappointed because we had different expectations. You can apply expectations to how you think people will react or behave and then when what they do and say deviates from your expectations more disappointment sinks in. You can also have very negative expectations of certain people and when they come through you think well I expected that asshole to act that way. Understanding how expectations play into your situation goes a long way toward successfully accepting a situation. The truth is if you have a positive expectation and the results are negative you are upset and if you expect a negative outcome and you still get a negative outcome well you may not be surprised, but you won’t be happy. Maybe the answer is to tamp down your expectations, hope for the best, and accept whatever happens. Remember accepting your situation means managing your expectations and dealing with them.

Impermanence

When I think about impermanence as it applies to acceptance I see it as an enabler or detractor. The fact that everything is impermanent can make accepting a situation easier, knowing that as difficult as something is it will end. On the other hand, impermanence also applies to the time you spend on this earth, and accepting something intolerable such as an abusive relationship comes at the expense of the finite life you have. In either case acceptance and impermanence are linked together. Did impermanence play a role in Viktor Frankl surviving Nazi Concentration Camps or John McCain being a prisoner of war in North Vietnam for 5 and half years? Sometimes when you are in a battle you have accepted at work, service to your country, or watching a loved one slowly die over a period of months all you can hang on to is that it is impermanent.

Accepting yourself

The power of acceptance does not apply only to situations but starts with accepting yourself. You may have determined by now that you or any of us are not perfect. Accepting yourself with all your quirks and faults can help you in accepting situations you are going through. Many of us live our lives going forward from the past. Memories of failures to achieve something, and failure to cultivate key relationships with family and friends all inhibit what we do today. None of this bodes well for creating the life we desire, but we continue on from the past to the future. Accepting what we have been through is an important step in moving forward with the life we want. Face it we have all fucked up, not once but many times. Accept this fact and forgive yourself for the past mistakes and accept the fact that you will fuck up in the future. If you can come to terms with yourself, accepting who you are will grant yourself the space to accept situations as they are.

Accepting others

How can we accept situations without accepting others? I’m not saying you need to condone their actions or even forgive them. However, you need to accept that their behavior is not under your control, and letting what they do upset you over and over again will just make it almost impossible to accept the situation you are dealing with. The majority of the situations I mentioned in my little example above had at its core dealing with the behavior of people. When you can accept other people the way they are with all their irrational beliefs and faults you become capable of dealing with almost any situation.

Not accepting

I sometimes get really pissed off when I see motivational speakers say “Never Quit”. In my example above there was a pivotal point where I had to decide if I was going to accept my situation or remove myself from it. I chose acceptance, but there are many situations where not accepting your current situation makes sense. Here are a few examples:

  • I don’t accept staying at this shitty job
  • I don’t accept that one of my goals is unattainable
  • I don’t accept how someone close to me treats me badly
  • I don’t accept that I inherently have limitations that prevent me from living the life I desire

Sometimes not accepting your current situation is a choice that expands your world and opens you up to new possibilities.

Conclusion

You can’t go through life complaining and bitching about your current situation. At some point, you need to come to terms with your choices and accept what is as if you had chosen it. Choosing acceptance is not some weak act of submission, but instead a sign of wisdom and self-care. There is a saying nothing ventured, nothing gained. When you accept your current situation, and embrace the challenge, you become unstoppable. Life will always be challenging, painful, exciting, and filled with opportunity. When you embrace acceptance you choose to make things a bit easier. Let us face it we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I can guarantee that it will have its challenges.

People who live without accepting their current situation will forever be doomed to a life of pain and suffering. There is a quote from Gary John Bishop that I like:

“I expect nothing and accept everything.”

Make acceptance part of your philosophy and watch how your life begins to flow with less resistance and more satisfaction.

Namaste

“Copyright 2024 TheStoicBuddhist.com. All Rights Reserved”

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Clinging to the Past

How can you experience the possibility of living an extraordinary life if you continue to cling to the past, or maybe more accurately relive the past over and over?

Well, you can’t!

So there must be a reason you repeat the same pattern of existence day after day. Maybe it is a fear you won’t achieve your financial goals without clinging to the life you have now. Do you think that after all these years you couldn’t possibly do any better financially unless you keep your shitty job. How many more hours, days, months, and years will you spend waiting? Your past has become your present and your present has become your future.

Do you have enough faith in yourself to do what you want to do, not what you feel is safe or reasonable?

Deep inside you realize that what you want from this life is just a decision away. The realization that each day is precious and that the future is what you make of it should be enough of a reason to stop living in this self-imposed prison. You spent most of your life living and doing for others, and now it is time to do something for yourself. Take back control of your life. Get off the fucking hamster wheel and put the past in the rearview mirror.

Planning Over Action

You don’t need another fucking plan, for Christ’s sake that’s all you do is create plans. Your new and better life only becomes available by taking action in the present moment. Fuck the plan, act!

Planning is great but only to a certain degree. When it gets to the point that 90% of your time is spent planning your future instead of acting to make it happen, you are in trouble. So you have a great idea for starting a business and you have identified the skills you will need and made a plan to acquire those skills. That’s great, now it is time to learn those new skills and execute your plan. If you wait to make sure you have planned out every little task and you have researched yourself into a coma then that opportunity may just slip away. I am personally guilty of this one. I plan out goals and reset them over and over instead of doing the things to achieve them. Guilty as charged!

You become so mired in the planning and second-guessing yourself that you aren’t accomplishing anything. You need a goal and a plan to achieve that goal, but as you probably have experienced nothing seems to go exactly as planned. There is a quote out there and I’m not sure who to attribute it to, but it makes my point.

If The Plan Doesn’t Work, Change The Plan, Not The Goal

Your plans will change as you learn more about what you are seeking but don’t give up on your goal. Your goal is created in your imagination expressing a desire or a dream. The point here is to not get into an infinite loop of planning without taking action. Revisit your plan periodically, but make sure most of your effort is not spent planning. If you like ratios maybe Action to Planning should be 10:1.

Desiring Certainty

It’s not like you don’t have any interests outside of your job as is the case with some people. You know exactly what you want to do, which is what makes not doing it such a tragedy. No, you my friend won’t take this leap of faith because you need certainty. There is no certainty in this world. You could be fired tomorrow, fall prey to a disease, or be hit by the proverbial bus. If you truly believe there is no certainty other than as the Buddhists would say that life is suffering then you could drop this whole charade.

Here is a certainty for you. If you keep clinging to the past it is certain to repeat itself and your dreams of a better life will go unfulfilled. Truly exceptional people understand that there is no certainty and they accept it. Once you understand that nothing but suffering is certain then the whole world is available to you. Just to clarify even though life is suffering there is a path to the cessation of suffering, so even suffering isn’t 100% certain. My advice is even though we seek certainty, we will never really find it. Seeking certainty is a human trait that we have used for thousands of years to help us survive on this planet. Now your desire for certainty is just an impediment to making progress. Stop It!

Brainwashing / Social Conditioning

Is it the fear of the unknown or have you just become so brainwashed and conditioned that even though the guards have left the building and opened the gate you still remain in your prison cell? Oh, hell it’s probably a little of both. Habits can be a tough thing to break, especially those that don’t serve you anymore. Maybe you have been working in a profession for twenty years or more. You feel safe in the knowledge and skills you acquired over the years. It would be nearly impossible if your whole identity wasn’t associated with this role/profession. You have become a Doctor, Lawyer, Software Developer, Security Architect, Plumber, Teacher, Social Worker, Electrician, or whatever it is you do for a living.

In fact, this profession has become your past and it has an effect on all the other factors that are holding you back from pursuing your goals, passion, or dreams. It might be that you didn’t start out wanting to be an Accountant your whole life, but over the years that is exactly what happened. It’s not only you who see yourself in a particular role, but so do the people close to you. You will hear people say that human beings are creatures of habit. That may be where it starts, but ultimately you have been brainwashed or conditioned and this role becomes your identity. You might think you are a role that you play, but you are just assuming that role for some period of time. You are a multi-dimensional being and as such you are capable of learning new things and assuming different roles, so if you spent twenty-plus years as say an Accountant it doesn’t mean you need to spend the next 20 years in that role. That’s why I like Jim Rohn’s short but profound quote:

If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.

Jim Rohn

Lack Of Confidence

Maybe it’s not just the brainwashing or desire for certainty that is holding you back. Maybe it is a lack of confidence in yourself, a feeling that changing the direction in your life and doing something completely new scares you to death. Every time you thought about doing something else in the past you talked yourself out of it. You would say to yourself that you can’t learn the skills you would need for this new type of work or even take up a new hobby. Deep inside you know that’s just bullshit! I mean how much did you know about your current role ten or twenty years ago, or back when you were in High School?

Did you ever wonder why some of the stupidest people in the world become so successful? Well, one of the things they are not lacking is confidence. In fact, I would hazard to guess that they sometimes border on being egomaniacs. I’m not advocating that you become an egomaniac, but instead, realize you have infinite potential if you just begin believing in yourself. Look at your track record and all the things you have achieved and succeded at. You need to understand that you will develop the skills you need to achieve your goals. You may not possess them now, but put in the effort and you will succeed and this will help you overcome any lack of confidence you currently have.

Advice From Those Close To You

If you love what you do for a living then keep doing it, but if you’re working at a job that bores you to death or worse yet, you hate it, move on. One of the other things that could be holding you back from taking the leap besides desiring certainty, brainwashing, or a lack of confidence may be other people. Is a family member, a spouse, or a friend advising you to keep doing what you are doing? Many of us have been raised to take care of others as our priority. Does any of this sound familiar? You don’t want to disappoint people close to you and switching careers could directly affect them. It isn’t really your uncertainty that is stopping you, but instead, it is theirs. The thing is that when it is all said and done, this life you have is actually yours, but you don’t really view it that way. Hey, you and most of humanity are either totally self-absorbed or people-pleasers.

Remember as we reviewed your own uncertainty and conditioning well those close to you also see you as a role(s), and your desire to do something different with your life is unsettling to them. Don’t be surprised when you discuss your goals with them if they aren’t ready to get on board with this new plan. So should you continue to live your life for everyone else? Hell No!

If they cannot support the new life you want to lead then here is where you have to get a little selfish. You only get one shot at this rodeo we call life and you can either claim your life or live it for others, it’s ultimately your choice.

Conclusion

We have talked about planning over action, desire for certainty, brainwashing and conditioning, lack of confidence, and advice from those close to you, as factors contributing to clinging to the past. I personally have experienced all of these and it has caused a lot of grief and procrastination. While these factors are powerful forces that keep you reliving the past, they pale in comparison to the pain that will haunt you from not pursuing a better future. These factors are dream crushers and for you and me they become convenient excuses for not pursuing our dreams.

I hope that this post has shed some light on what might be holding you back from pursuing the goals that could lead to a better life. I would love to hear what you think.

Namaste

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“Copyright 2023 TheStoicBuddhist.com“

Contemplation – October 21, 2023

Be grateful for this day for many will not have this opportunity, and did not wake up. I recently lost a loved one, and as I’ve got older I began to realize how precious each day is.

To be alive is your reward, nothing more and nothing is more precious.

Wasting your time resisting what is will bring no peace of mind.

This world is imperfect, accept things the way they are and contentment will follow.

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” Lao Tzu

Now go about your business with a giving heart. Seek to be a blessing to others for that is your reward.

Namaste

Please check out my companion blog inspirationalbookreviews.com

“Copyright 2023 TheStoicBuddhist.com. All Rights Reserved”

Escaping the Matrix

Previously, I wrote about what the Matrix is and our participation in it. So please read The Matrix before reading this post as it will provide some context that should make this post more understandable. In The Matrix I explained the contrast between the cold and ruthless corporation and the humans that work there. Given the reality of the matrix this conflict is irreconcilable. So you are challenged to make the decision to stay or escape the matrix. Servitude or freedom, that is the question.

Contemplating the Escape

On the surface it seems like an easy decision, where you choose freedom of course and make your escape. However you have been serving your master the corporation for many years, and you are accustomed to this thing called money. Like many other addictions you tell yourself that I’ll quit in a few months or maybe work another year and then I’ll be free. This is referred to as the one more year syndrome. Here is the thing, not only are you addicted to the money but you are also battling a unwillingness to change your life. You have become comfortable doing this thing you have done for so many years, and you fear the unknown. It is even possible that your fear of the unknown is greater than the gains you perceive of being free. It’s kind of like someone who has been a prisoner for decades, the front gate is unlocked, and you don’t even consider just walking out. Holy Shit!

Most people that are considering escaping the matrix have questions that they need to contemplate. I put together a short list that I’ve personally struggled with in the past. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but something to think about. I would caution you not get too hung up on answering these questions. Notice I have not asked the question, which is Why should I escape the matrix? You already know the answer to that one.

Questions to contemplate:

How will I make money and pay for all this shit?
  • That dream you have had in your mind for years, undoubtedly you have been thinking what if I could monetize what I really want to do.
  • Maybe you have been saving up for your escape and that is the answer to having income to fund your free life.
  • Maybe like most us you spend too much, have to much shit, and could cut down on your level of consumerism.
  • Sometimes it is a matter of faith in your ability to figure it out. Sounds week, huh? Do you really think that the thing you have been doing while employed in the matrix is the only way you can generate some income? Fuck No!
What will I do with all this found time on my hands?
  • Pursue your passion.
  • Enjoy it! Yes, you have escaped and to begin with you should get some kind of enjoyment just from this fact.
  • All those hobbies you haven’t have time for are now yours to pursue.
  • Looking for some meaning in your life? Join a non-profit, a charity, a church, or do your civic duty and get involved in a cause (climate change or renewable energy), or political party.
What will other people think?
  • If your talking about those still grinding away in the matrix, they will be envious of your escape.
  • Who cares! What your really wrestling with is what you will think about your freedom.
  • Listen you are embarking on a new life, one that is so different from what you are accustomed to that you will feel a bit alienated from those still plugging away in the matrix. You are freeing yourself from this consumer driven, wealth obsessed society, and embracing a life where you now own your time, which is the most precious thing of all.
  • If you lived your life worrying about what your co-workers, your spouse, friends, or family thought about you, then stop it!

Breaking Free

There is nothing wrong with taking a somewhat methodical approach to making the decision to escape the matrix or to keep on doing what you have been doing, living in the status quo.

Most of us start with the empirical method which is to use a spreadsheet to calculate the financial gain of working longer. Usually this is expressed as if I worked one, two, or three more years. Don’t get too enamored by this approach as it is inherently one sided, and only considers the financial gain of working longer, but fails to consider the non financial costs of working longer. In fact if you choose to make your decision based on the financial impact, well then you might as well keep your shitty job and work until you die. You might guess that I’ve done this myself and was amazed at the amount of money I would have if I continued working in the matrix for two or three more years. Fortunately I knew the cost of doing this and over time became less enthusiastic about my forecasted financial gains.

Given the limitations of the purely financial approach, you might consider a more holistic approach to making the decision to break free or stay in the matrix.

Now there are many factors to consider, but here are a few that come to mind:

  • Physical Health – What toll does your current job take on your physical health? Your 9 to 5 is likely taking a toll on your physical health or at the very least compromising your opportunity to improve your health by having the time to exercise more, eat better, etc.
  • Mental Health – All the stress you endure is messing with your mind and likely making your life a whole lot less enjoyable than would otherwise be possible. Not only is this stress making you miserable, but it is shortening your life.
  • Regret – Will you regret working longer especially if you are getting older? Of course you will. Very few people have ever regretted escaping the matrix, wishing they had worked longer.
  • Joy and Happiness – To what extent is your happiness important to you? Silly question, but this is a huge factor for most of us.
  • Pursuing your Dreams – That thing you always wanted to do, or do more of. Call it a dream or your passion. What price are you paying now by not pursuing your dreams?
  • Relationships – Anyone that spends the majority of their days in the matrix have compromised their relationships. Aside from the joy it could bring to you and others, by cultivating more meaningful relationships, not doing so may end up being one of your biggest regrets.
  • Controlling Time – How much does it matter to you that you have some control over how you spend the time allotted to you each day? Those that escape the matrix have infinitely more control over how they spend the limited time we all have. Just for an example, say you work 45 hours per week on average. If you sleep 8 hours a day you have 16 waking hours available to do stuff. Excluding weekends, this is 5 x 16 = 80 waking hours per work week. If you exist in the matrix you have 80 – 45 = 35 hours to do what you want or needs to be done. Any way you look at it during the work week you have less than 50% of the waking hours that are yours.
  • Financial – The reality is the vast majority of us needs money to pay for necessities and wants. In our society this can be of paramount importance for many people. Your servitude in the matrix, pays your bills, and may provide a little left over for savings, but your likely not to become super wealthy. Realize that making finances a priority isn’t necessarily advocating for staying in the matrix, as it is very possible that your lack of financial success may be attributed to you being stuck in the matrix in the first place.

Let’s say for fun I decided to rank these items using the following ranking scale:

  • 1 – not important
  • 2 – important
  • 3 – very important

My guess that if you are considering escaping the matrix just about every one of these factors would be ranked at a 2 or 3. Is your decision getting any easier?

Maybe you love your job, have a good work life balance, and no other aspirations outside of your career. But be honest with yourself, you would be a very small minority of those that exist in the matrix. Most of us dream about a greater purpose for out life. We seek some degree of freedom to make choices on how we spend our time and with who we spend our time with.

By now you have probably made your choice, and like all restless prisoners you are contemplating an escape. Depending on your finances and the amount of planning you have already done you might just jump and sever your relationship with your employer. Just do it and escape approach, which is highly recommended if you ready.

The second approach is required if money is an issue, and you haven’t planned what you will do when you break free from the matrix. This approach means you need to plan your exit before jumping. If you decide you need a little more time before making your escape from the matrix, be wary setting that date too far into the future. It is better to take a leap of faith too early than to allow the matrix to destroy your decision to escape. This then becomes the I’ll work one more year syndrome that I mentioned earlier. This one more year can turn into multiple years of bondage.

I won’t try and kid you, there is an element of risk in making your escape, but there is a wonderful new life that awaits you when you walk out that door. Envision what that new life will be like as you finally have time to pursue your interests, give back to the community, restore your health, become more mindful, and have the time to create better relationships. Unlike a real prison, in the matrix the door is wide open. No one will shoot you as you walk out. In fact after a few months they won’t even remember who you were.

In my next post I will discuss how sometimes remaining in the matrix may make sense at least for a while. This can give you time to plan your escape and make the preparations needed.

Go ahead and comment if you have escaped the matrix or are contemplating it.

Namaste

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“Copyright 2023 TheStoicBuddhist.com. All Rights Reserved”

The Question You Must Ask Yourself

This post will be purposely short and to the point. It originates from a bit of journaling this morning. I like to start my day with a grateful practice, but my thoughts often turn to other questions about the meaning of our existence on this planet. Enough said, here is the journal from this morning:

Journal Entry

I am grateful for being alive today, and having the opportunity to live a more fulfilling life.

The question you must ask yourself is what is the purpose of all this? What do you mean by living a more fulfilling life?

Why am I here? Is it to fulfill a destiny, serve others, or to master my own philosophy?

Maybe it is all or none of the above. Maybe it’s as the Buddha taught to end suffering.

Whose suffering? Your own and all sentient beings.

How? For me it must be by writing and actions.

It’s not much of a reach to say we all have more than one purpose for living and these can be noble or selfish, or even some combination of the two. As humans we are fairly complex, possessing desires, dreams, and sometimes selfless motives for what we do.

There are many noble reasons to exist including:

  • Service to your community
  • Taking care of your family
  • Showing compassion for others
  • Being more mindful and spiritual
  • Becoming a better human being through philosophy

On the other side of the coin exists our selfish or negative motives:

  • The accumulation of wealth and material things
  • Sensory desires like sex, drugs, drinking, etc.
  • The desire to punish, belittle, and criticize those that are different from us
  • Wrong thought such as anger, hate, or envy
  • A preponderance of ego; thinking you are better than everyone else

The selfless or noble motives for your life result in happiness and the selfish in destruction. The choice is always yours alone.

Namaste

Mediation Experiences – Cuatro

This is the fourth installment “Cuatro” in my series on my meditation experiences. The previous installments included:

Meditation Experiences – Uno where I covered some of the basics of meditation and how I began my own practice.

Meditation Experiences – Dos was targeted at a discussion on some of the benefits I have received from my practice.

Meditation Experiences – Tres is where I tried to make the case for having no expectations from your practice.

Ok enough about the past, but if you haven’t read these posts I recommend you do so, as this has been a journey for me, and you get a better context for what I have experienced if you start at the beginning. During the time that I have written this, I have been meditating on a daily basis for about 3 months. I don’t know if I mentioned this, but my practice has also included studying Buddhism, which I have been doing for maybe around the last 10 years or so. So when I talk about my practice it is comprised of meditation and Buddhist studies.

All of human history has been turbulent, but we are living in a strange era with this pandemic and technological advances that have brought so much prosperity to the world and at the same time caused so many people to be displaced. If there was ever a time that we needed something to provide a lifeline or an anchor in our world the time is now.

As I went beyond just studying and dedicated myself to daily meditation, I feel that this might be an answer to living a meaningful life amidst all this craziness. In fact, it may be the only true way out of this situation. The Buddha spent years coming to the realization that suffering exists as a natural state for human beings and that there is an end to suffering. His prescription was developing a practice of meditation and following the Eightfold Path. You might be thinking this is bullshit, how can I benefit from studying an applied philosophy created 2,500 years ago. I would argue that Buddhism has survived so long because it was relevant in the past and is relevant today and will be relevant in the future. The basic premise of Buddhism that life is Dukkha (suffering), is as true today as it was yesterday.

As I have become consistent with my practice and specifically the meditation component of it I have found it to be the lifeline that I so badly needed. I won’t kid you there are times when I sit down on my cushion and have trouble tuning out the world around me, thoughts about my work, or other things become so prominent that I have trouble staying present. While some sessions seem better than others, all of the time spent meditating is a respite from the insane world we live in. This daily practice starts out as somewhat of a challenge, but as you persist it becomes a habit, and you will start to look forward to it. You become your practice, you become compassionate, and ultimately you become Buddha. Your practice will soon become the most important thing in your life because all good things result from it. You might just become a better spouse, parent, or friend. You might even start seeing the world as it really is and you will start seeing the good in people.

I will leave you with this somewhat funny quote from the Dalai Lama:

Namaste

 

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All the little things matter

Take some time today to analyze all the things you do today. What is your routine comprised of? We tend to think I need to make a massive change, quit my job, and move to Bali where I will be a writer and contemplate the various sunrises or sunsets. I contend you don’t need to make a massive change in your life for you to fulfill your dreams, but instead you need to start making sure those daily habits become a contributor and not a detractor to the life you envision.

You have all of these little habits each day that you perform that dictate your results, so this is a good place to start. Let’s say you want to be a writer, artist, or entrepreneur. What activities are you doing that contribute to this goal? If your habit is to get up late, dive in the shower, and drink three cups of coffee so you can make it to work at the last minute you are missing an opportunity to do something to contribute to the life you want to live. What if you just got up a couple hours early and worked on that thing you are passionate about? Well you would then spend 2 hours working towards your goal, or in aggregate 14 hours per week, or 728 hours a year. Could you accomplish something with 728 hours of effort, hell yes!

What if you wanted to become healthier, and instead of watching 3 hours of Netflix, Amazon Prime, or YouTube you spent an hour working out doing something good for your body. None of this shit a revolutionary change in your life or maybe for you it is, but the daily application of these new found habits accumulate over time and lead to massive results. Listen Rome wasn’t built in a day, and the success and satisfaction you seek won’t magically happen. You don’t need to destroy everything you have or do to improve, but you do need to make sure you have these supportive habits that occur on a frequent basis for you to start living the life you want for yourself.

Someone will always be selling you some new way to turn your life around, but all these ideas of reprogramming who you are usually don’t work. You have become what you were in the past, all these habits and ways of looking at life have been engrained over many years of just being you. Stop thinking you need to remake yourself, your not fucked up, but you are also not so locked into your past that you can’t start making changes. Don’t buy into this shit that you are broken and need to be re-built, you and I know there are a lot really great things that you are doing, and yes maybe somethings from your past that are holding you back from being an even better version of yourself.

Say it with me:

“Today I will make one small change that will contribute to the life I want to live”

Namaste


If you would like to support this blog, check out the awesome selection of eBooks at:

Mind, Body, Spirit books at eBooks.com

If eBooks aren’t your thing, check out my Resources page for additional ways to support this blog.

Visit my other blog Inspirational Book Reviews where I review some incredible literature.

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Worthy of happiness

Worthy Of Happiness

I was reading a quote this morning and thought it was very interesting. I knew little of Immanuel Kant, but what intrigued me was the premise that to be worthy of happiness you need to live a moral life. As I processed this thought that the possibility of happiness can be earned as a result of morality I thought about The Five Precepts in Buddhism, which are:

  1. to abstain from taking life
  2. to abstain from taking what is not given
  3. to abstain from sensuous misconduct
  4. to abstain from false speech
  5. to abstain from intoxicants as tending to cloud the mind

In Buddhism, the five precepts are a moral code for laypeople, or one could think of them as the fundamental baseline of morality. Read them and you begin to realize how broadly they can be applied and how powerful their influence could be on your personal conduct.

Personally, I tend to stay away from talking too much about morality, as it is often applied for example in religion to various behavior that I may see as moral and not immoral. Still, there is something about this quote that made me think that maybe we all need to strive to be more moral, and by doing so provide an opportunity to be a bit happier.

Note Kant does not equate morality to happiness only to being worthy of happiness. To me, this means real happiness like everything else must be earned, and in Buddhism, this starts with the Five Precepts. Can you be happy without striving to live a moral life?

If you are aware of the consequences of your actions and the impact they have on others, then the answer is no.

Who was Immanuel Kant?

He lived in the 1700s to early 1800 and was an influential German philosopher in the Age of Enlightenment. In his doctrine of transcendental idealism, he argued that space, time, and causation are mere sensibilities; “things-in-themselves” exist, but their nature is unknowable.

Kant’s theory is an example of a deontological moral theory–according to these theories, the rightness or wrongness of actions does not depend on their consequences but on whether they fulfill our duty. Kant believed that there was a supreme principle of morality, and he referred to it as The Categorical Imperative.

Well enough, for now, I need to start making myself worthy of happiness and do something good today, guess I will start by reflecting on the Five Precepts.

Namaste


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Reference:

Five Precepts of Buddhism Explained

 

A little information on Immanuel Kant

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immanuel_Kant

 

 

Moving On

Random Thoughts / Poetry

Moving On

Is every day a repetition of the last?

Move on

But the money and the benefits are so good

Move on

Have you quit dreaming and setting goals?

Move on

When was the last time you got a good night’s sleep?

Move on

Are you tired all the time?

Move on

Are you drinking a little too much to forget this shit show?

Move on

Are you waiting to have enough money to retire?

Move on

Are other people maybe your family members telling you just one more year and you can do anything you want?

Move on

Have you mastered this job to the point you are no longer learning?

Move on

Do you spend a lot of time doing pointless work that adds no value?

Move on

Has the line blurred so much that you can’t tell your work from the rest of your life?

Move on

Is your work so demanding that you have abandoned all your hobbies?

Move on

Afraid you can’t do better?

Move on

Will you miss the long days and continuous demands?

Fuck No!

Move on

 

Namaste


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Not for appearance sake

One of the themes I understand from studying the Stoics like Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius is the idea that above all you should do the right thing. Another way of putting this is to be a good person, first and foremost. Doing the right thing is not done for accolades or praise, but simply because it is the right thing to do. If you find yourself more concerned about how the things you do are perceived by others then you are missing the point.

Maybe you are not doing the right thing or being a good person because you find it inconvenient taking too much effort. Being lazy or selfish is not an excuse for shirking your responsibilities and doing what is right. The stoic ideal requires self-discipline and adhering to the principle of doing good. A selfish me oriented attitude will never result in doing the right thing, nor will living a life focused on impressing other people.

Put your ego aside today and think is what I am doing the right thing, is it good for the world, or is it self serving?

There is such a thing as an honorable life, but it is not easy. Doing the right thing is difficult in this me oriented world, but you have greatness inside you and you just need to release it.

Ask yourself today, as Epictetus would, am I doing this for the sake of appearance or because it is the right thing to do?

Namaste

 


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