As I’ve mentioned before my book reviews are not meant to be a comprehensive dissertation about the book. I prefer to provide the simple premise and my own perspective about the writing.
The premise behind this book is that we have a tendency to talk ourselves out of pursuing good ideas because our primary focus is on protecting ourselves from things that take us out of our comfort zone. Mel Robbins talks about a hack that breaks this pattern of fear or procrastination by counting backwards from 5 to 1 and then taking action. This breaks the pattern of letting our mind talk ourselves out of doing something in response to the idea we have.
Most of this book is about having the courage to pursue your dreams and explaining all the ways to overcome sabotaging yourself. Let me say that for me the book was very inspirational, and may for you act as a trigger to start pursuing your dreams. She includes lots of quotes from readers on how they changed their life, and some pretty cool quotes on pages you can rip out and put on the wall in your home office for instance.
As much as I enjoyed the book, listening to her on a podcast or YouTube is equally enjoyable. Mel is an excellent public speaker. The YouTube video below is a good example of her excellent presentation skills:
It is an easy read that you could accomplish in a weekend, a little over 200 pages. I would certainly recommend it if you are considering making some changes in your life and need a little push in the right direction.
In the last post Law of Attraction #1 I attempted to explain my macro level view of the law of attraction. I promised that I would try to explain how the law of attraction can be used to help you be happy and fulfilled in your own life. The overall goal for the law of attraction is for you to be happy with your life and to obtain what you want out of life.
For myself I have used the law of attraction to greatly reduce negative thoughts and increase positive results. Remember the law of attraction isn’t some feel good approach to life, although you will feel much better about yourself and others. The law of attraction is a state of the way things work and will exist and function whether you believe it or not. Here are a few ways to start using it to your advantage:
- Take some time and think about what you want. These can be material things, something you would like to do, places you would like to live or visit, or work that you enjoy. Examples might include but not limited to:
- A new car (Mustang GT)
- My own business
- Enjoying a vacation in Cancun
- A fulfilling relationship with my significant other
- Think about why you want these things in a positive way.
- Write these things down somewhere that you can see them daily, focus on them, feel yourself receiving them.
- Maybe you put them on a whiteboard, on paper, or some electronic form (computer, phone, etc.). It must be somewhere that will be visible to you as a reminder to yourself where you will focus your thoughts.
- Do not think about what you don’t want. This is the hardest part because what you think about will be what you are attracting. Don’t fall into the trap that thinking about what you don’t want will motivate you to achieve something else, instead keep the focus only on what you want.
- Every time you find yourself focusing on something you don’t want consciously make a shift and focus instead on what you want. This gets easier as time goes by and you begin to catch yourself thinking a negative thought and you will quickly remove it from your focus.
- Begin to monitor what you are exposing yourself to. For me it was turning off the television so that I wasn’t wasting time watching cable news, which was only creating negative thought patterns. Use that time to feed your mind positive information and focus on what you want to attract.
- Go with the flow, provide your input and advice, but when people don’t act upon it just accept it. Stop focusing on things you cannot change, go with the path of least resistance, it will always be easier to manifest.
- Believe in yourself, in your dreams, and in the talents you possess. You are a unique creation and you have an unlimited potential to share your talent with the universe.
- Finally practice being grateful. Being grateful reinforces the power of the law of attraction in a positive way. The power of expressing gratitude alone will only lead to a happier existence.
I think that is enough for today. I would love to hear what you are doing to use the law of attraction to improve your life. More to come on this wonderful subject.
One of my favorite quotes attributed to Buddha is “At the end of the way is freedom. Until then, patience”. This seemingly simple quote speaks volumes in terms of guiding us in the direction of a much happier existence. Whether your preference is toward Buddhism and achieving enlightenment which in this case would equate to freedom, or if you are a Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or maybe not a follower of any formal doctrine the intention of this quote should provide some guidance on how to live your life. I know this may sound a bit over the top, and you may feel advocating patience is little solace during times of duress, but let me make a case for the value of patience in your life. Here are a few ways that patience will enrich your existence:
- Long term goals require action, but they also require patience. Many of us give up on a goal or dream simply because we do not have the patience that would allow us the time to achieve them. Name a major goal that did not require a fair amount of patience, and I’ll show you a goal that was far too easy to achieve.
- Patience is the cornerstone of practices like meditation and yoga, which will enrich your life, but without patience neither of these practices are possible.
- You may never attain a state of complete freedom, but your ability to be patient makes it much more possible, and provides a means to cope with everyday stresses and desires.
- In the context of this quote the word patience takes on additional meanings implying kindness, compassion, and determination. If freedom, enlightenment, or some form of happiness is your end goal, then you will need all the patience you can muster to achieve it.
- One constant in our lives is everything changes, and sometimes we go through a cycle or event that can be measured in months or even years, but because everything changes we know that patience is an asset in coping with this cycle until it inevitably ends.
- Let’s face it no matter what you do, both good and bad things will be part of your life, and your ability to be patient will greatly affect how you react to what happens to you. Patience is the tool that when applied has a smoothing effect on both the highs and the lows of life. Those people that survive great tragedy in their lives use patience to ride out the storm.
- Patience and the other things it implies acts to counteract destructive thoughts like comparing yourself to others, envy, frustration, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger.
I ran across this quote a couple weeks ago and I wrote it down on an index card, pinning it to my cork board in my office. I often look at it when I am in my office, and recite it when I meditate. My journey is probably much like yours, filled with suffering, happiness, and all the emotions in between, but this little quote has brought me great personal relief.
May you seek freedom at the end of the way, but until then use patience to guide your thoughts.
Being the over planning person that I am, I scheduled Monday through Saturday mornings for yoga and meditation. Yes I actually created an appointment in Outlook which of course syncs with my phone, but there is one problem today is Wednesday and haven’t hit the mat yet this week. So I have managed to make some sort of excuse three days in a row. Maybe I just have an issue with mornings, but I’m not sure that is the issue. Well if this is about excuses then early in the morning could qualify as one. Here is the definition I found of excuse used as a noun:
“A reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.”
The above definition best describes how I have justified not pursuing goals by providing some reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify my behavior. Does any of this sound familiar? Make great plans and then fail to execute, and come up with various excuses which of course you know are pretty much bullshit. So what do we do about this common phenomena?
- Realize you are doing it. This is generally pretty easy because the excuses are accompanied by periods of guilt and self loathing.
- Once we realize it, then stop it! Move on with your plan and stop using the excuse.
- Analyze your excuse and determine if the goal was unreasonable or you were not committed to it.
- If after you have analyzed the excuse and the goal then decide if the goal is worth the effort and move on.
Remember that most excuses are a way to avoid something that is uncomfortable, and that would probably be enjoyable once you actually got started. Examples of this might include getting out of the door to go running, attending a party, and yes performing your yoga practice. All three of these are perfect examples of activities that once you start them you find they are very enjoyable, but often your mind says I don’t really want to do it. So this hesitancy to move forward is probably a trigger for creating an excuse, so remember if there is some minor discomfort associated with an activity then push forward and don’t allow yourself to make an excuse.
The world is filled with people that have failed to achieve their dreams and goals as they fell prey to their favorite excuses.
Last week I wrote about how you could make Monday a new start by setting just one goal that you will accomplish during the week. The idea is that these goals would accumulate and you would certainly be on the road to changing your behavior, and not falling into the trap of repeating the same old stuff. I have found myself as guilty as the next person in falling into patterns of behavior that don’t support my goals. For instance I ate well for two days in a row and then decided it was alright to eat that hamburger and fries, or I did two workouts from my three day split and failed to do the third on Saturday or Sunday, or instead of pursuing that business opportunity I failed to put out the effort and instead watched endless hours of television.
Yes we all need time to relax, but wasting your time in the evenings and on weekends is another example of falling into a pattern of behavior that leads to absolutely nothing. I’m not saying you should eliminate time with your friends and family because your goals are so overly important, but you should also not give into living everyone’s dream at the expense of your own. This is then about seeking some sort of balance, and yes making some sacrifices along the way.
While I mentioned the word balance I am not a big fan of the term work life balance, the insinuation is that work and life are some kind of different categories of activity and that balancing them is desirable. My view is do what you want to achieve your goals and if that means you need to work more than you relax then do it. Don’t fall prey to patterns of behavior that do not support your goals, but always make sure that the goal you set is what you really want. Sometimes you will need to change your goals or even eliminate some of them as they no longer represent what you really want. There are perfectly good reasons to abandon one goal and pursue another, but don’t let your dreams be replaced by mediocrity and settling for less than you are capable of.
Most of us operate at about 50%-75% of what we are capable of, settling for a comfortable existence when greater things are in your future if you are willing to put in the effort and fully utilize the gifts that each of us possesses. So make this Monday the day you begin to follow your dreams, set a new goal and just do it. Stole that little gem from Nike, sorry guys.