Tag: love

The End of Suffering #2 – Right Thought

In my previous post The End of Suffering #1, I tried to show how Right Understanding could help alleviate suffering. In this post, I would like to illustrate how Right Thought the second element of the Noble Eightfold Path also contributes to the end of suffering. Remember the Buddha taught that those that master the elements of the Nobel Eightfold Path will end suffering and even attain enlightenment.

So just what is Right Thought (Samma sankappa)? The following is a pretty decent definition:

Right thought denotes the thoughts of selfless renunciation or detachment, thoughts of love and thoughts of non-violence, which are extended to all beings. It is very interesting and important to note here that thoughts of selfless detachment, love and non-violence are grouped on the side of wisdom. This clearly shows that true wisdom is endowed with these noble qualities, and that all thoughts of selfish desire, ill-will, hatred, and violence are the result of a lack of wisdom in all spheres of life whether individual, social, or political.

Right Thought provides the wisdom we need to stay detached and extend love to those we encounter. As we mentioned in The End of Suffering #1 our suffering is manifested in our attachment to things. With the “right thoughts”, we are able to break the chains of attachment by being more detached from things and people. Right Thought provides us to view the world in a more selfless way, leading with love and compassion towards humanity.

As you cultivate “right thought” you begin to look at your thinking more critically, which helps you understand when you are deviating from the path of detachment, selflessness, and love. When you begin to catch yourself becoming angry or selfish you are on the path to mastering “right thought”.

One of the interesting aspects of the Noble Eightfold Path is that none of the eight aspects of the path operate independently. Without “right understanding” it would be impossible to attain “right thought”. So once you understand the cause of suffering with “right understanding” you can begin to do something about it by controlling your thoughts. More importantly, you begin to think with the right intentions as we mentioned selfless, detached, and loving.

I would suggest that you will not reach a state of right intention or right thought, where one day you are an angry selfish person and then the next day you magically practice 100% right thoughts becoming selfless and loving overnight. This like all the other aspects of the path must be cultivated one day at a time.

I wish you all the luck as you follow the path and may all be well with you.

Namaste

Reference: https://tricycle.org/magazine/noble-eightfold-path/

 

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Excited to start the day

We have a natural tendency to think if our behavior seems a bit strange that there is something wrong with us. For instance, I have this propensity to get up in the middle of the night after a few hours of sleep. At one time I thought I must be insane and wrote it off to anxiety or too much caffeine. This was simply incorrect on my part. What I determined was that there was nothing wrong with me, but instead, I was just ready to get up and start my day.

Did you ever consider that maybe just maybe you are excited about your life? There is a distinct possibility that you are simply motivated to get things done. What better time than 1 A.M. or 2 A.M. to do things that you are passionate about. I find that as I get older, the value of time increases and I don’t want to waste not even a moment of it. You may feel the same and decide that you are willing to trade a little sleep for something you really enjoy doing.

The moral of the story here is you are not some basket case that needs to be fixed. Think about it for a minute, you are one of the few people that are excited about your life, and you are making time for the things you are really love doing.

In a world that is critical of everything, where our very society seems to be crumbling, it might seem a bit odd that you have not bought into this shit. You are a doer, yes someone who thrives on getting things done. While the rest of the world complains, protests, riots, and seeks to destroy society, you are building it up. Give yourself some credit and ignore the morons that seek anarchy over reason. This conflict between those who view this world as lacking seeking to destroy it and those who see it as one big opportunity will always exist.

Go ahead, while the rest of the world sleeps, you pursue your dreams, you get shit done, and you make things happen.

You don’t buy into the negativity because you are an achiever and ultimately you win!

Namaste


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You live in the future

I think this quote is self-evident and I don’t want to elaborate endlessly on its meaning. You and I and every other homo sapien spend their time thinking about what I need to do next. It wouldn’t take too much convincing to say we all live in the future.

Here is the thing, living in the future burdened by a to-do list a mile long and an endless striving for one or more goals, leaves us forever unsatisfied. We have checked out of the present moment, trading it for the next achievement. We all live in this materialistic, goal-oriented, society that says you are never enough, and you need to work on yourself. Being unsatisfied with who we are has spawned the self-improvement industry where millions of dollars are spent by us in the hope that we can change ourselves to become a better version of ourselves.

My response to all this self-improvement bullshit is as follows:

  • You are not broken – You are a human being with unique talents and skills. Don’t let other people tell you that there is something wrong with you.
  • You don’t need to work on your weaknesses – I really hate that shit when people spend so much of their time focusing on their weaknesses. It’s such a fucked up approach to your life. I mean you will never overcome all your weaknesses, instead, we should focus on our strengths. Do you know why they want you to focus on your weaknesses? To sell you more shit and this focus on what I’m not good at leaves you feeling inadequate.
  • There is no future – I’m not saying don’t have any plans but stop sacrificing today for tomorrow. I know this goes against all the goal-setting maniacs that are always advocating that you achieve more, acquire more, be more. Do you really want to miss out on time with your friends or family so you can drive a BMW or live in a million-dollar home?

Enjoy what you are doing right now, focus on what you want to do, and stop looking to someone else to give you the answer to living a life of your dreams. If you can begin to love yourself just the way you are, things start looking better, and you begin to actually make more progress in your life because you are not thinking about how fucked up you are. You must begin to start shifting from thinking about the future to being totally engrossed in the present.

Say this to yourself every day:

I’m not broken

I love myself

I have something to give to this world

I am focused on the now

 

Namaste


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The end of suffering

Random Thoughts / Poetry

The End Of Suffering

You know everything is impermanent

Yet you choose to suffer

Only change is certain

Yet you choose to suffer

You are aging day by day

Yet you choose to suffer

Life and death is ever-present

Yet you choose to suffer

Love and joy surround you

Yet you choose to suffer

You have no direction

You can find no end to suffering

The end to your suffering is a walk down the Eightfold Path

 

Namaste

 

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Life is a series of tradeoffs

Random Thoughts / Poetry

Life Is A Series Of Tradeoffs

Life is a series of tradeoffs.

We trade work for leisure, money for meaning, productivity for peace of mind, anger for love, and so it goes.

If I do this, I can’t do this, and so it goes.

Every decision has an opportunity cost, and so it goes.

As you traverse this world of tradeoffs do not be too concerned.

While every choice has a consequence remember you are a human being and making bad choices is something we excel in.

In the end real freedom is when you choose what you do and what goes undone, and there is no regret.

Namaste

 

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Imperfection in ourselves

As human beings, we have this uncanny ability to see flaws in things. I’m not talking about criticizing, but that often becomes the result of this ability to find fault in something or someone. Some of the ability to find flaws comes from society as we are taught to judge, seek perfection, and determine what went wrong. I also think that as a species we must be able to discern what is good for us by analyzing things for our own safety and well being. Such as things like:

  • Is this good to eat, or is it spoiled or poisonous?
  • Should I trust this person?
  • Is this situation I am putting my self in dangerous?
  • Is what I am making or buying high quality?
  • Is the love I am about to give to another going to be reciprocal?
  • Can I trust you, or will you let me down?

For instance, I had some remodeling done after a tornado did some damage to my home. We had new laminate floors installed and they looked great, except that there is this one spot where someone installing the floor chipped this tiny little spot, and every time I walk by it I notice the flaw. It is this innate ability to see every little flaw in something that probably has led to a lot of our success as a species, as we seek higher levels of quality in almost everything we make or do.

Of course, this uncanny ability to find flaws doesn’t work so well with our fellow humans, especially when it results in criticism and disdain for others that we see as flawed. We will say things like they are stupid, ignorant, lazy, racist, fat, ugly, or any other number of negative adjectives we use to describe others. Here’s the thing, you and I both know that we have our own flaws. Surprise you might not be perfect and of course I would be the last one to tell you that because I am a real bit of work in process by any standards. So this uncanny ability serves us well in many ways and has probably saved our ass over the years, but the price we pay for this ability is very high. Maybe the ability to find flaws in material things can be of benefit to us, but even that comes with a price as in my remodeling example. Other than those situations where your personal safety is involved, it might be wise to turn off the quality filter from time to time and stop judging the hell out of everything.

You have to ask yourself does my judgment I am making about this thing or person really matter? Is my propensity to judge everything as good or bad, making my life better?

Only you can decide how much judgment you allow to be part of your life.

Namaste

 

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Find something you love

Simon Sinek wrote a book called Find Your Why, which helps you create a sense of purpose, your why becomes a vision statement for your life. I highly recommend you check out that book or watch some of his YouTube videos, as it reinforces some of the things in this post.

You probably have a pretty good idea of what you love to do, but often you don’t spend as much time as you would like doing it, because you feel it is not advancing your career or there appears to be no money in it. You know what that is great because now you have found your passion. If no one is patting you on the back or paying you for it, then you should be doing it for the sheer joy you receive from it. Let’s say you love to play guitar, paint, do yoga, write blog posts, read books, exercise, do home improvement projects, or any other of the thousands of things you might enjoy. Are you so busy making a living, running on the hamster wheel, and taking care of everyone else that you cannot pursue your passion?

Dammit, wake the hell up! 

In most cases what we love doesn’t create an income, but is something we do for free. We do it for free because we love doing it, and it brings joy to our lives, enriching our days on this earth. Many of the greatest artists, musicians, and writers barely made a living from their work, but it didn’t matter. They did it because they loved doing it and nothing would stop them. If what you are doing is done to impress someone, stroke your ego, or gain financially then it is not inherently your passion.

Now here is the funny thing about doing what you love, it may someday turn into some form of recognition or become financially rewarding, but those were not the reasons you started doing it, they simply became an outcome. Always ask Why am I involved in this activity? When your why is because you are passionate about it and would do it for free, you have found your why. Doing that thing you love doing eventually turns into mastery if you invest enough time in it, then that alone provides a sense of achievement and satisfaction.

Life is too short to spend all your time seeking recognition and striving for more money. Spend a little time today doing some of those things you love to do and all will be well with you.

Namaste

 

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Love Impermanence

We live our lives seeking situations or things that are permanent. This might include a relationship, a profession, investments, our bodies, or beliefs. It is human nature to plan for the future seeking a sense of certainty as if we had control over the present or the future. Here is one of my favorite quotes by Thich Nhat Hanh:

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk and peace activist, founder of the Plum Village Tradition. One of the primary tenants of Buddhism is impermanence. Impermanence is the lack of permanence, or the fact that everything is changing, thus nothing is really permanent or even certain. I guess if there is any certainty it would be that nothing is permanent. As you are reading this your body is changing, the weather is changing, even our own most strongly held beliefs are under siege. Because of impermanence our plans for the future are at best a wish and in reality are extremely uncertain.

If you can accept that everything is impermanent you will begin to free yourself from worrying about your problems. If everything is impermanent than so is your pain and suffering. That situation that is causing you so much grief is likely to change and you will inherent a new problem to worry about. Flip the coin and the joy you feel today may be replaced by pain tomorrow, or by some other form of happiness. You might be thinking well all this in not very comforting and what am I to do about this impermanent life of mine? The answer is that there is nothing for you to do. If you need to do anything it would be to simply accept impermanence and live in the present moment.

Listen, I’m not saying you should not make plans, but any plan you make must include some flexibility due to the fact that whatever you have planned will likely need to change. Working towards a goal you have can be a wonderful thing, but then impermanence steps in and what you are working for may no longer be possible to achieve. Remember impermanence does not equate to something negative and in fact it often will result in new opportunities that avail themselves if you are willing to embrace uncertainty and drop your bullshit adherence to the plan you have in your head.

Let’s say you have this job working for some corporation and your plan is to work there for the next 5 years and then retire. However your company begins losing market share and they have to eliminate your high paid position. You could be angry, start blaming the company or yourself, and have a nice pity party and this might be something you decide to keep doing for the foreseeable future. For someone who embraces impermanence this kind of reaction to the situation would be impossible. The person that accepts uncertainty would say Fuck it and move on. The plan you had is no longer valid, but you think well let’s take a look at this world of possibilities and act upon some other interests you have. I have personally been in similar situations and every time a door closed, another one opened and the change only enhanced my life. This is why I love impermanence because when you embrace it you learn and grow as a person, you become unstuck. Here is another quote from Thich Nhat Hanh:

Learn to love impermanence and all will be well with you.

Namaste

 

The Happiness Illusion (updated)

 

happiness is not good enough

“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
― Ernest Hemingway, The Garden of Eden

You are constantly bombarded by self help gurus that preach the mantra that happiness is the primary goal for you life. Take some time to observe your own life and calculate the amount of time each day or week where you feel truly happy. I’m not talking about the times you feel content, challenged, or at peace, but instead the emotion of feeling very happy or elated. If you are forever chasing some state of happiness where the majority of the hours of the day are filled with happiness, then you are setting yourself up to experience yet another emotion, which will be a feeling of disappointment. You immediately jump to the conclusion that there is something wrong with me. I must be doing something wrong or I would be happy all the time, instead of the brief forays into happiness I am currently experiencing.

I’m guessing your day is filled with time spent in some or all of the following emotions:

  • Feeling anxious.
  • Frustration with yourself, others, or some man made process or rule.
  • Feeling challenged by your work and/or people you work with.
  • Loving others or feeling loved.
  • Feeling the fear of the unknown or known.
  • Anger or being pissed off about something or someone.
  • Self loathing for not living up to your own expectations or the expectations of others.
  • Envy for things or envious of what others have.
  • Fleeting moments of bliss or happiness.
  • Satisfaction with accomplishing something or learning something new.
  • Feeling uninspired or tired.
  • Feeling appreciated or unappreciated.
  • Desiring stuff, money, sex, or some mind altering drugs or alcohol.

I could go on and on with this list of emotions we experience often on a daily basis. We are filled with all these thoughts that affect our well being and all the yoga and mediation in the world will not eradicate them from your mind, believe me I’ve tried. Give yourself a fucking break, you are an emotional bundle of somewhat uncontrollable thoughts and you know it. Don’t and I mean do not let some dumb ass on YouTube tell you that if you buy this, or practice this, all of this will go away, and your life will become one big vacation. You can’t exist in some state of continuous bliss; you are not the Dali Lama. Sure you can seek enlightenment and end all this suffering and discontent, and I hope you achieve it someday, but on the off chance you don’t then you are going to have to learn to live in the world you currently inhabit.

I think happiness is overrated, there are many other emotional states that should occupy your mind; those that are more valuable to you and to others. I’m not saying you should live in some state or misery, but chasing a state of happiness is an illusion. Replace that quest with these feelings or life goals:

  • Taking responsibility for you life, your work, and your decisions.
  • Feeling challenged by your work and the fulfillment you feel when you step up to take on the challenge, win or lose.
  • Feeling good about yourself because you are working at being more disciplined.
  • Being grateful for all the shit you have; just look around you and notice the type of life that many are merely existing in, and you will see you have a lot to be grateful for.
  • Developing an appreciation for the people in your life, family, friends, co-workers, and customers.
  • The quiet satisfaction you feel from learning that came from reading, studying, experimenting, watching, and listening.
  • Desiring more from yourself or desiring more from life than you are currently getting. Desiring more for your life is not a bad thing. A lot of great things have been done by people with a burning desire to accomplish something.

Suffering builds character

In fact I would challenge you to consider that happiness as your constant state of mind would put you at a big disadvantage in life when it comes to achieving what you want. You need to experience difficult times, challenges, and a certain amount of pain to grow as a person. Maybe you can be satisfied by all the obstacles you have overcome to be where you are today, instead of wishing for a life of ease and self gratification. If the totality of life consisted of sitting on a beach in the Caribbean and drinking one Margarita after another how happy would you be then?

Think back on all the things you have accomplished, the events in your life that bring back good memories. What about the time you landed that job you wanted, or met that special person, or obtained that degree or certification you worked so hard for. I’ll bet you weren’t sitting around bullshitting yourself in some blissful state of euphoria; instead you got off your ass and took action. Quit wishing for happiness and start doing something constructive; in the long run you will feel a whole lot better about yourself.

I used to watch all this motivational shit on YouTube from Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Eric Thomas, Les Brown, and Bob Proctor, but instead of motivating me it made me feel dissatisfied with my work and my life in general. To tell you the truth these people have some good ideas, but ultimately they are trying to sell you one of their books or have you come to their seminar. Meanwhile they make you feel unfulfilled about your life so they can generate more sales and then you just feel like shit when you could have been enjoying the life you have.

You already know what you need to change in your life to progress. You certainly don’t need someone else to tell you the areas of your life that are pretty fucked up.

Let me leave you with this quote from Gary John Bishop that comes from his book UNFU*K Yourself:

I expect nothing and accept everything!

Try living your life for a while expecting nothing and accepting everything that happens to you. If you expect to be happy all the time and can’t accept it when life sucker punches you then you are doomed my friend. Drop the stupid expectations and take life as it is served up to you, then you can at least control the suffering and enjoy the good stuff.

Namaste

The Law of Attraction #3

 

law of attraction 21

In my previous posts The Law of Attraction #1 and The Law of Attraction #2 I attempted to explain some fundamental concepts and ways you can start using the law of attraction in your own life. I have been reading The Secret and I thought it might be useful to provide a summary of some of the things I have been learning. I really encourage you to acquire the book, it is incredible, and contains some great quotes interspersed between the writing of the author Rhonda Bryne. Not only is this an excellent book, but it is so well made, printed, and illustrated. I have the hardcover version, which I highly recommend. I can’t speak to the quality of the paperback version.

The second chapter of The Secret is “The Secret Made Simple”, some of the key concepts shared in that chapter include:

  • The law of attraction is a law of nature and as such is always working. It is not something you need to invoke.
  • It is very important to know how you are feeling. If you want to understand what you are thinking you must ask yourself what am I feeling. If I am feeling good it would be impossible to be thinking bad thoughts.
  • Thoughts determine what frequency you are on. If you are feeling bad you are on  frequency that is attracting more bad things into your life, conversely if you are feeling good then you are on a frequency that will attract more good things.
  • There is this concept of secret shifters, which is merely a set of thoughts or activities that you can use to break the pattern of bad thoughts. These can be personal experiences, nature, music, or maybe even a form of exercise that can be used to break the pattern of bad thoughts. Try as we may we will all slip into a negative thinking pattern from time to time and need to have some ready ways to shift our thoughts back in a positive direction.
  • When it comes to frequency the feeling of love is the strongest frequency you can possess. Strive to embrace the feeling of love as much as possible, because it will enhance your results.

The real takeaway here is that the way you feel is critically important. The way you feel will guide you to change your thoughts, because the thoughts you are thinking are making you feel good or bad. Pay attention to how you feel as it is a key indicator of what is going on in your mind, and will help you stay on course or make a correction.

In my next post I will share more of what I am learning from The Secret and how to use the law of attraction.

Namaste