Tag: quotes

Still miserable – Seneca

Seneca rightly points out that a mindset devoid of gratitude is never satisfied regardless of the amount of achievement, material things, or pleasure bestowed upon the person. For many people this is their life, in a nutshell, seeking and finding, yet no appreciation. They have accumulated great riches, big houses, expensive cars, fine wine, country club memberships, and yet at their core, they are miserable.

Gratitude is a mindset after all, that you can cultivate, but you must begin to challenge the assumptions you held so dear for such a long time. Your assumptions have been that seeking wealth and fame is my life’s goal, which feeds your ego and provides a nice way to compare yourself to others. You think you are superior because you have more money, a bigger house, and a luxury car, but you are never really happy.

Let’s start by chipping away at your ego, shifting your goals from wanting more, to appreciating what you have. I love this quote by Lao Tzu which always helps me put things in perspective:

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” Lao Tzu

Start by being grateful for what you have, especially the small things. Start a gratitude journal and write 3-5 things you are grateful for every morning or evening. If you can do that you begin to chip away at the ego and your materialistic tendencies and a shift towards gratitude begins to take place.

Namaste

 

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Imperfection in ourselves

As human beings, we have this uncanny ability to see flaws in things. I’m not talking about criticizing, but that often becomes the result of this ability to find fault in something or someone. Some of the ability to find flaws comes from society as we are taught to judge, seek perfection, and determine what went wrong. I also think that as a species we must be able to discern what is good for us by analyzing things for our own safety and well being. Such as things like:

  • Is this good to eat, or is it spoiled or poisonous?
  • Should I trust this person?
  • Is this situation I am putting my self in dangerous?
  • Is what I am making or buying high quality?
  • Is the love I am about to give to another going to be reciprocal?
  • Can I trust you, or will you let me down?

For instance, I had some remodeling done after a tornado did some damage to my home. We had new laminate floors installed and they looked great, except that there is this one spot where someone installing the floor chipped this tiny little spot, and every time I walk by it I notice the flaw. It is this innate ability to see every little flaw in something that probably has led to a lot of our success as a species, as we seek higher levels of quality in almost everything we make or do.

Of course, this uncanny ability to find flaws doesn’t work so well with our fellow humans, especially when it results in criticism and disdain for others that we see as flawed. We will say things like they are stupid, ignorant, lazy, racist, fat, ugly, or any other number of negative adjectives we use to describe others. Here’s the thing, you and I both know that we have our own flaws. Surprise you might not be perfect and of course I would be the last one to tell you that because I am a real bit of work in process by any standards. So this uncanny ability serves us well in many ways and has probably saved our ass over the years, but the price we pay for this ability is very high. Maybe the ability to find flaws in material things can be of benefit to us, but even that comes with a price as in my remodeling example. Other than those situations where your personal safety is involved, it might be wise to turn off the quality filter from time to time and stop judging the hell out of everything.

You have to ask yourself does my judgment I am making about this thing or person really matter? Is my propensity to judge everything as good or bad, making my life better?

Only you can decide how much judgment you allow to be part of your life.

Namaste

 

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The way

I’m paraphrasing here, but from the book UNFU*K Yourself by Gary Bishop, he says something like “Only You Can Save Yourself”. So when I say let your practice be your salvation, it means your practice, not someone else, but you must become your own salvation. Your practice and I mean meditation and studies are the means that will lead you to find yourself.

The only way to reveal the true you, the you that is buried deep inside is through your practice. Without daily practice you continually let yourself become some manifestation of your environment and you move further away from who you really are. Either you direct your mind or the world around you will do it for you. I think this quote from the Buddha illustrates my point about why your practice is so important.

For a Buddhist, there is only the way, and the way is to practice.

Namaste

 

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Find something you love

Simon Sinek wrote a book called Find Your Why, which helps you create a sense of purpose, your why becomes a vision statement for your life. I highly recommend you check out that book or watch some of his YouTube videos, as it reinforces some of the things in this post.

You probably have a pretty good idea of what you love to do, but often you don’t spend as much time as you would like doing it, because you feel it is not advancing your career or there appears to be no money in it. You know what that is great because now you have found your passion. If no one is patting you on the back or paying you for it, then you should be doing it for the sheer joy you receive from it. Let’s say you love to play guitar, paint, do yoga, write blog posts, read books, exercise, do home improvement projects, or any other of the thousands of things you might enjoy. Are you so busy making a living, running on the hamster wheel, and taking care of everyone else that you cannot pursue your passion?

Dammit, wake the hell up! 

In most cases what we love doesn’t create an income, but is something we do for free. We do it for free because we love doing it, and it brings joy to our lives, enriching our days on this earth. Many of the greatest artists, musicians, and writers barely made a living from their work, but it didn’t matter. They did it because they loved doing it and nothing would stop them. If what you are doing is done to impress someone, stroke your ego, or gain financially then it is not inherently your passion.

Now here is the funny thing about doing what you love, it may someday turn into some form of recognition or become financially rewarding, but those were not the reasons you started doing it, they simply became an outcome. Always ask Why am I involved in this activity? When your why is because you are passionate about it and would do it for free, you have found your why. Doing that thing you love doing eventually turns into mastery if you invest enough time in it, then that alone provides a sense of achievement and satisfaction.

Life is too short to spend all your time seeking recognition and striving for more money. Spend a little time today doing some of those things you love to do and all will be well with you.

Namaste

 

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An opportunity to grow

After working much of the weekend, which is a bit abnormal for me it occurred to me that I was not resentful over spending so much of my time on the job that currently pays the bills. I won’t bore you with the details, but some of the work was not even remotely interesting, but it got done anyway. I was thinking about it this morning and such a simple concept came into my mind. Is it possible that you either view all the things you need do as an obligation (negative), or as an opportunity (positive) to grow and improve?

Most of us view the things we need to do as obligations, which means there is a somewhat negative connotation in play here. Obligations weigh on our mind, cause stress, and a feeling of dread. Looking at the things you need to do in this world as obligations provide no joy, no focus, and little sense of accomplishment. You just feel like a hamster on a wheel, living a life where you dread each day as the process repeats itself again and again.

What if instead, I looked at those things I need to do as an opportunity to grow. What would my day look like then, maybe the consequences of this viewpoint would provide:

  • Growth in terms of knowledge acquired, working towards mastery.
  • If I view what I am doing as an opportunity I am more likely to stay focused in the present moment and to experience flow.
  • I am sure to be more productive since I am getting things done because I want to do them, instead of feeling obligated.
  • I will have jumped off the fucking hamster wheel, left the stupid matrix, and I will begin to find meaning and satisfaction in what I do.

Oh, I forgot to mention you might even feel a strange feeling that was buried long ago, something called happiness!

Maybe I had a flash of Satori or it could have just been the three cups of coffee. Satori is a Japanese Zen Buddhist word used to describe a temporary experience of awakening or oneness that seems to come spontaneously from within.

Seriously, if you start viewing your work as a series of opportunities for growth, you begin to live in the present and that is where the magic begins to happen.

Namaste

 

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Until the next page is turned

Your life is like a book where you turn a page every day as you awaken. Each page is to be savored because you may not finish the book and it would be in your best interest to enjoy each page that you read. Waiting until the book is finished to be grateful would be a shame and a waste of your time.

Each day you turn another page and you have another opportunity to be alive, to enjoy the time you have on this earth. Should you choose to spend your time complaining and wishing for something more you will have wasted that day. Your life unfolds minute to minute, enjoy the journey wherever it takes you. Remember you can’t go back and say I wish I would have gone in this direction or that direction. You are where you are for a reason because this is where your path has led you.

A couple years ago I started writing in a journal three to five things I am grateful for every morning. It has become a ritual over time, that is followed by some yoga and meditation. Starting each day feeling grateful for what you have will allow you to serve others, instead of having feelings of resentment, anger, or another ego manifestation.

Today I am grateful for?

  1. My family who may not be perfect, but are always my top priority
  2. My work that provides challenges and financial rewards
  3. My writing, which is a therapy for me and hopefully benefits others
  4. My yoga and meditation practices that make me feel good and calm my mind
  5. Waking up today and having another opportunity to enjoy each moment as it unfolds

 

Being grateful has many benefits including:

  • When you are grateful for what you have feelings of entitlement and envy melt away
  • When you are grateful for the people in your life you will treat them better and be less critical of their behavior
  • When you are grateful for your dwelling and having food to eat you will crave less and feel more satisfied
  • When you are grateful for what you have you will have a tendency to serve or give back in appreciation versus expecting something
  • When you are grateful you will feel better and be more positive

Of course, I could go on and on, but you get the point by now that a grateful practice has too many benefits to not incorporate into your daily routine.

Namaste

 

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Embrace acceptance

We wake up every day, and most of us start out the day with some expectations. We might think this will be an easy day, I have time for some of my hobbies, and 10 minutes later you log in at work and fuck the world is coming to an end and you are asked to address a whole bunch of shit that you had not expected. You become upset, not so much that all this shit was thrust upon your plate, but because you expected a different kind of day. You had a plan or expectation for your day, and it got thrown out the window.

Welcome to reality! Not the stupid planned reality created by your expectations, but the kick you in the ass reality called life. Ouch! As I have observed the most painful periods in my life, they are painful because I expected one thing and life said so what and providing something else. Of course, now I’m pissed off because things didn’t go the way I expected, and not only am I angry, I become negative as hell and start acting like an asshole.

Consider that expectations are either in the present or in the future. I think planning is a good thing, but having an expectation that I will execute all the tasks or adhere to a timeline called out in the plan is where the problems begin. The world and other people don’t care about your plan, so accept you have much less control over what will transpire each day than you might think. Go in with a plan and adapt as needed without all your expectations weighing you down. Well, you might say well shouldn’t I expect good things to happen for me today? My advice is that it would be nice, but if you do and things turn out differently you end up crushed because life didn’t meet your expectations.

All you can do is stay present, drop the stupid expectations, and start accepting what life throws at you. I’m not going to take on the Law of Attraction movement, which I have written about before and have some belief in, but much of it is predicated on you believing (expecting) something to come into being in your life and that will cause the Universe to make it happen. Life, on the other hand, will provide plenty of chaos and contrary results that provide disappointment after disappointment if you keep expecting a certain outcome. Choose to dream, have a vision, and be positive, but stay away from expecting too much on a daily basis.

I am going to try and accept what happens to me today, without expectations.

Namaste

 

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Except to reason

Marcus Aurelius was if nothing else a rational man. In this quote he rightly espouses that nothing else should guide you in life but reason. Not emotions, greed, lust, or any other vile thoughts. In many ways this is the same philosophy that Ayn Rand used in her books The Fountain Head and Atlas Shrugged. When we seek to go down a path that is void of reason we are taking a big risk that could manifest itself into addictions, stupid decisions, and an all around miserable existence.

Let the stoics help guide you to a better place in your life. You are constantly bombarded by so many things that will challenge you, and if you can stay grounded knowing reason alone is your basis for living, then you will be at peace. Most people around you and in society as a whole will not live a life based on reason, and you quickly see what the consequences are for them.

If it is not rational, if you can’t use reason to understand it and guide your decisions then don’t do it. If you are reading this blog you are a person of reason, and it is your responsibility to be the rational person and set an example for those around you. This is even more important now when so much fear about this pandemic is all around us.

Be like Marcus Aurelius, be the stoic!

Namaste

 

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Marcus Aurelius (/ɔːˈriːliəs/ or /ɔːˈriːljəs/;[1] Latin: Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus; 26 April 121 – 17 March 180) was a Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and a Stoic philosopher. He was the last of the rulers known as the Five Good Emperors (a term coined some 13 centuries later by Niccolò Machiavelli), and the last emperor of the Pax Romana, an age of relative peace and stability for the Roman Empire. He served as Roman consul in 140, 145, and 161.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Aurelius

 

 

The fools life

I really enjoyed this stoic quote by Epicurus as it covers three important areas including gratitude, fear, and not being present. Epicurus defines the fool as someone who is not grateful for what they have, is consumed by fears, and thinks only about the future. Talk about a path to misery. Do you know people like this? These people do not appreciate what they have, fear just about everything that is out of their control, and instead of living in the present they are focused on the future. You often here them say someday when I get that new job, buy that expensive house, have some free time I will be happy. Always looking towards the future for contentment and missing out on what is happening today.

Then there is this lack of gratitude expressed by so many people. They will say my job sucks, the people I work with are morons, the government is inept, and on and on; clearly never seeing all the wonderful things going on in their life. A fool wastes their life by not being present, not appreciating what they already have, and seeking something better that may or may not happen. We are all guilty of this from time to time, but we don’t turn it into a life philosophy. The fool just doesn’t know any better, they stay stuck in this mindset, and because they are a fool they don’t even know it.

You my friend are not a fool!

Namaste

Vices over time

It starts out innocent enough, a few drinks with your friends and later on it escalates into full blown addiction. Have you seen this whether it is alcohol, smoking, drugs, or over eating? These vices become a habit and habits are hard to break. Seneca seems to be saying it is easier to slow it down than to stop it. This is the power of our vices, in some ways they make us feel better, and we pattern our existence around them, making them so very potent. Rather than put yourself through the painful process of trying to stop, it is a wise person that never starts. Next time you tell yourself it won’t hurt to have that drink, try that drug, smoke that one cigarette, or eat that crap you know is clogging your arteries; think how easily these little missteps turn into a powerful self destructive habit.

Namaste