Tag: judgment

Imperfection in ourselves

As human beings, we have this uncanny ability to see flaws in things. I’m not talking about criticizing, but that often becomes the result of this ability to find fault in something or someone. Some of the ability to find flaws comes from society as we are taught to judge, seek perfection, and determine what went wrong. I also think that as a species we must be able to discern what is good for us by analyzing things for our own safety and well being. Such as things like:

  • Is this good to eat, or is it spoiled or poisonous?
  • Should I trust this person?
  • Is this situation I am putting my self in dangerous?
  • Is what I am making or buying high quality?
  • Is the love I am about to give to another going to be reciprocal?
  • Can I trust you, or will you let me down?

For instance, I had some remodeling done after a tornado did some damage to my home. We had new laminate floors installed and they looked great, except that there is this one spot where someone installing the floor chipped this tiny little spot, and every time I walk by it I notice the flaw. It is this innate ability to see every little flaw in something that probably has led to a lot of our success as a species, as we seek higher levels of quality in almost everything we make or do.

Of course, this uncanny ability to find flaws doesn’t work so well with our fellow humans, especially when it results in criticism and disdain for others that we see as flawed. We will say things like they are stupid, ignorant, lazy, racist, fat, ugly, or any other number of negative adjectives we use to describe others. Here’s the thing, you and I both know that we have our own flaws. Surprise you might not be perfect and of course I would be the last one to tell you that because I am a real bit of work in process by any standards. So this uncanny ability serves us well in many ways and has probably saved our ass over the years, but the price we pay for this ability is very high. Maybe the ability to find flaws in material things can be of benefit to us, but even that comes with a price as in my remodeling example. Other than those situations where your personal safety is involved, it might be wise to turn off the quality filter from time to time and stop judging the hell out of everything.

You have to ask yourself does my judgment I am making about this thing or person really matter? Is my propensity to judge everything as good or bad, making my life better?

Only you can decide how much judgment you allow to be part of your life.

Namaste

 

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Today I escaped

This really resonated with me, as I am often the victim of my own thinking, making mountains out of mole hills if you will. I assumed what needed to be done would be difficult, or a situation came up that I perceived to be negative caused suffering. My monkey mind went into overdrive and I took the normal shit that happens and turned it into a nightmare. What the hell!

Sure the Buddha was right; life has more than it share of dukkha (pain and suffering), but how much of it is self imposed? As I have been studying stoicism recently I begin to notice certain parallels with Buddhism. Could the assumptions we make about things,  that Marcus Aurelius is talking about be yet another cause of dukkha, much like craving, desire, and attachment?

At the moment you start to say this is difficult, or I hate this situation, you are making assumptions and most of these are what will happen in the future. In fact in retrospect you find that most of your assumptions were bullshit.

Maybe the answer is in dealing with things as they occur in the present, without assumptions, expectations, and above all withholding judgment.

A bit of stoicism, Buddhism, and lots of yoga and meditation might help too.

Namaste