Walk for Peace USA – Very impressed with the monks.
Before I get started, I wanted to acknowledge the 2,300-mile walk for peace in the USA that started on October 26th, 2025, and is still going on as of February 1st, 2026. The above picture must be from Texas, where they started; they are now walking in January weather, and are currently in Virginia. This is what peace and dedication look like. I feel fortunate to be able to see this on social media every day, as it is truly inspiring.
I wanted to start this post with a quote from the great James Baldwin, as it pertains to what people around the world are going through today. Sorry, no Pali Canon quotes today.
Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one an identity, the end of safety. And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings to what one knew, or thought one knew; to what one possessed or dreamed that one possessed. Yet, it is only when a man is able, without bitterness or self-pity, to surrender a dream he has long cherished or a privilege he has long possessed that he is set free-he has set himself free-for higher dreams, for greater privileges.
I live in the United States and during the last year I’ve seen our civil liberties eroding, corruption in government to a degree that is absurd, violence directed against citizens, including immigration officers actually killing US citizens, and a President that is destroying the economy, threatening other countries, bombing at least 8 other countries within the first year of his second term. Our government acts more like an organized crime organization, using threats and coercion against its citizens and the rest of the world. Many in this country fear we no longer have a democracy, but are now an authoritarian regime. No one chooses this, but it is now our reality. The anger and push back it has unleashed is of epic proportions and never seen except maybe during the civil rights protests in the 1960’s.
As one who has studied a fair amount of history, none of this is new, and many of you from other countries would have your own tales of injustice and oppression that may make what we are going through pale in comparison. Cruelty, greed, hate, seeking power, injustice, and endless wars seem to be features of the human world. The suffering from all these things has been the experience and a big part of the history of mankind. At the same time, much of mankind is kind, generous, loving, and works for a better world, not just for themselves, but also for their families, communities, nations, and the world at large. In my long lifetime, there may have been a few years you could count on one hand that we were not experiencing significant conflicts in the world resulting in thousands, if not millions, of deaths in this world. The negative human conditions caused by war, seeking power, corruption, injustice, and greed are so far part of an endless cycle of humanity. As technology has progressed, we are being bombarded by images, truths, and untruths of the atrocities being committed in our world. This real-time information flow does nothing but keep us in a state of anxiety. We either become so disturbed by it all or end up tuning it out altogether.
As the quote by James Baldwin illustrates so well, we change as our illusions are shattered and forced to give up privileges and possessions we thought we owned, but never really did. He goes on to say in the last sentence of the quote above:
“Yet, it is only when a man is able, without bitterness or self-pity, to surrender a dream he has long cherished or a privilege he has long possessed that he is set free-he has set himself free-for higher dreams, for greater privileges.”
Baldwin was not writing about Buddhism when he made this statement, but for this illusion we have about ourselves and the suffering that we experience is where I make the case for Buddhism, the 2500+ year old philosophy. While many of us in the world view the current state of things as unacceptable, we need to only look back a few decades ago to what Stalin did in Russia, Mao in China, and Hitler in Germany. According to the Pali Canon and other historical references, peace was a rare thing even in the Buddha’s time, and the personal suffering of sickness, old age, and death was not radically different from what we experience today. The Buddha was very observant as a young man, and having realized the suffering in the world, he decided to understand the root of suffering and how it could be alleviated, or more accurately, created a path to eliminate it for the individual.
After achieving clarity on how to end suffering through enlightenment, he developed an approach or method, if you will, that includes the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. This came to be known as Buddhism, the revolutionary approach to living we know today.
I don’t want to give you the wrong impression that practicing Buddhism will make this all go away if you leave the life you have and join a monastery as a monk. For people who care about others, what is happening in the world will influence their thinking. Caring people want to see justice in the world, and it deeply hurts them to see the injustice and cruelty we experience in this country and so many countries in this world. If you put it in perspective, what we see as the end of the world now is another cycle in the great historical shit show we call mankind. This probably won’t console you, but we tend to think this time in history is either unique or the worst of all time, and neither is true.
The Buddha never intended his teaching to turn us into unfeeling nihilists. Quite the contrary, he and all the enlightened ones taught compassion and followed the precepts, but they also taught detachment. To me, this is the paradox that you can create happiness in your own life with your practice, yet still recognize that suffering exists in this world and you can play a part in it to make things better. Buddhism offers a way to train the mind so that you can experience happiness through the elimination of suffering for yourself. Your responsibility is to share the dharma with others so they, too, can obtain right view and find peace in this volatile world.
Namaste
References:
Baldwin Collected Essays
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This is a bit longer than my normal posts as the topic of this post is focused on the 2nd Noble Truth “the origin of dukkha” and also touches on the 3rd and 4th Noble truths. For the purposes of this blog post, you can think of craving and attachment as the same thing and will be used interchangeably. Most of my references are from books in the Pali Canon. The Pฤli Canon is the standard collection of scriptures in the Theravada Buddhist tradition, as preserved in the Pฤli language. When I mention Dhamma or Dharma I am using it as it refers to the Buddha’s teaching. I know this seems a bit obvious, but when I refer to your practice, I mean the study of Buddhism and the implementation of your studies via meditation and mindfulness.
When I think about attachment from the perspective of Buddhism. I think about craving, passion, obsession, worship, yearning, desire, lust, and appetite. The Buddha states in the Four Noble Truths:
“Bhikkhus, it is through not realizing, through not penetrating the Four Noble Truths that this long course of birth and death has been passed through and undergone by me as well as by you. What are these four? They are the noble truth of dukkha; the noble truth of the origin of dukkha; the noble truth of the cessation of dukkha; and the noble truth of the way to the cessation of dukkha. But now, bhikkhus, that these have been realized and penetrated, cut off is the craving for existence, destroyed is that which leads to renewed becoming, and there is no fresh becoming.” DN 16
So the second Noble Truth defined:
“And this, monks is the noble truth of the origination of dukkha: the craving that makes for further becoming โ accompanied by passion & delight, relishing now here & now there โ i.e., craving for sensual pleasure, craving for becoming, craving for non-becoming.” SN 56.11
Not one to second guess the Buddha Siddhartha Gautama this post will make the case that your pain and suffering, are indeed caused by your attachments. It is believed that the Buddha was born about 2500 years ago, but many of the fundamental attachments (cravings) found then are much the same today. We of course have added through technology some additional forms of attachment such as social media, porn, gaming, and a variety of drugs. Even a seemingly good habit can still be a form of attachment, especially when it becomes an obsession. In the remainder of this writing we will focus on the different forms of attachment, the price of attachment, how to destroy attachment, and what our life becomes after attachment.
As with almost everything I write there is always a personal motive, usually my own life experience that compels me to challenge the way I live and to scrutinize my own attachments. This is one of those moments where I question why I am attached to so many things and how I could eliminate or lessen these attachments.
We all live in a highly materialistic world, bombarded by advertisements that seek to create a craving for some new thing or experience. Unlike 20 years ago, your online presence creates streams of data for our friends at Google, Facebook, Instagram, Apple, and Amazon. If you’re reading this you are already aware of this and through your practice, you are seeking ways to combat this bombardment of what is simply advertising. My hope is that by the time you have finished reading this post, you will at a minimum have a better awareness of your own attachments, but beyond awareness, you will be formulating a plan to dismantle them. Ultimately the escape from the attachments leads you closer to your authentic Buddha nature.
Forms of Attachment
Attachments can take many different forms and all attachments come with a consequence. To hold on to these attachments is in direct conflict with what we seek to achieve with our practice. Attachments can be categorized in several ways:
Addictions
Often the most destructive type of attachment is being addicted to some substance or behavior. These are some of the common addictions that can be considered an attachment:
Drugs – such as cocaine, heroin, meth, and cannabis are just a few examples.
Alcohol – recent studies have shown that alcohol changes the brain and destroys cells in numerous parts of the body. While alcohol is still widely acceptable in our society it is a poison.
Nicotine in the form of cigarettes, vape, cigars, and pipes. One of the most difficult habits to break and use over the long term that comes from smoking or vaping destroys the lungs and heart.
Porn – While it probably won’t kill you it is an unhealthy distraction that wastes time and sets an unrealistic expectation of what sex should be for most people.
Sex – The attachment to sex has destroyed many a relationship, often manifesting itself in seeking out different partners to satisfy this craving.
Materialism / Things / Money
In the eternal quest for more, we become attached to things. We feel like we never have enough, regardless of how much we have accumulated. In fact, the people with the most wealth make their lives work to seek even more. We are never satisfied, never truly grateful for what we have, even though we innately know that all this stuff and money will not make us happy. Here are just a few examples of materialistic attachment:
Real estate – This is usually first your home, but once this is achieved you want a second or a third home. The extremely rich not only purchase multiple homes but also acquire vast amounts of land buying up farms to add to their portfolio of investments.
Automobiles – I’m not personally attached to automobiles, but I see that many people are. In the United States, you can get a decent new car for $20,000 – $30,000. It won’t be a BMW, but it will be reliable transportation. Instead, the average price for a new car is around $48,000. What this tells you is that a lot of people are buying cars in the $60,000 – $100,00 range. Not only doesn’t this expensive car get you from place to place any more efficiently it costs more to insure and often gets poor gas mileage.
Electronics – You have a 60” television, but why not get an 80” one? Your phone is two years old so you trade it in for the latest and greatest $1,000 phone.
Toys – Here I’m talking about acquiring boats, motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, and any other unnecessary vehicle.
Money – You work the majority of your life, spending and accumulating money. There is an underlying fear that it is never enough, so you continue your wage slavery or run your own business so that you can acquire more money. You invest this money into stocks, bonds, mutual funds, precious metals, bitcoin, real estate, etc. so that your money can make more money increasing your wealth. Of course, you can’t take it with you so you die and leave it to your heirs or some charity of your choice.
People and Yourself
The attachment to others in its various forms is contrary to the goals of your practice. You are judging other people to find those worthy of your worship and adulation. In a way you are giving up your own ability to think and reason and giving the power to someone else. You are a follower, even when it is someone in your own family like a mother, father, spouse, or sibling. As a Buddhist even being too attached to the Buddha is perilous. The Buddha always wanted us to question what he taught to make sure we came to our own conclusions. Then there is this little thing called impermanence. That celebrity, politician, athlete, friend, or family member will someday cease to exist. As much as you may love someone being so attached to them that you can’t see yourself living without them only sets you up for what is inevitable.
Celebrities – You may admire someone who’s considered a celebrity, but attaching yourself to them and feeling that you know them is unhealthy. All you really see is a public persona, which might be quite different from who the person really is.
Politicians – How much harm has come to a particular country when the people begin looking at a politician as some deity and believe everything they say without question? Adolph Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, and Mao Zedong are great 20th-century examples of when people blindly follow someone on the road to complete destruction.
Athletes – I don’t think this is anything new. I can imagine the Romans were attached to certain Gladiators. In more recent times it might be soccer, American football, basketball, tennis, cricket, rugby, or some other sport athlete. For some people, these individuals are like gods to them. It’s not the athlete’s fault for they are only human, but when you make judgments of them beyond their athletic prowess you may be disappointed.
Spouses / Partners – One of the greatest forms of attachment may be to a spouse or partner. This all seems quite natural and good you might think. To a certain degree, it might seem that some level of attachment makes you a better partner, but what happens when it all blows up in your face? Even your relationship is impermanent; they may leave you, fall out of love with you, they may get sick, or might die. Now what are you going to do?
Family – You might be thinking that being attached to a celebrity, politician, or athlete could be an unhealthy obsession, but surely not a family member. Maybe, but being attached even to your family could become a source of pain. You have been told by society that sacrificing for your family is noble and good. In fact, it is normally something that is admired, but no one talks about the cost to you as an individual.
Self – I like to think about this as an attachment formed by this individualistic world, where we view ourselves as separate from the rest of humanity. I have a view of myself, maybe as a professional at work, or parent, child, or friend. It is true we are individuals, but we are part of a network of living beings that inhabit this world. We tend to have more in common with others than real differences. However, over the years we built a somewhat rigid definition of self and this weakens our view of us as members of the the human race. Not only do we view ourselves as unique among our homo sapiens species, but we tend to consider ourselves superior to other living beings.
Impermanence
The transient nature of life, impermanence, becomes our great realization regarding craving and desires. We realize that nothing including our money, physical form, possessions, addictions, and relationships will stand the test of time as they are all transient. We all inherently know this, but it doesn’t seem to stop us from pursuing our desires. Probably the most impermanent of things is ourselves and as a living being we have an unknown shelf life. You often hear things like well you are only alive once so go get everything you can and experience every pleasure known to humanity. Of course, for some people, impermanence provides a realization that life is precious and acquiring more stuff, working harder, and superficial pleasures are a waste of time.
While Dukkha (suffering) is caused by craving and attachment impermanence only increases our suffering as a root cause. From the Pali Canon before his enlightenment, the Buddha says:
“Before my enlightenment, O monks, while I was still a bodhisattva, it occurred to me: ‘What is the gratification in the world, what is the danger in the world, what is the escape from the world?’ Then it occurred to me: ‘Whatever pleasure and joy there is in the world, this is the gratification in the world; that the world is impermanent, bound up with suffering, and subject to change, this is the danger in the world; the removal and abandoning of desire and lust for the world, this is the escape from the world.” AN 3:101
Price of Attachment
I hope by now I have made at least a bit of a case for suffering being caused by an attachment or craving for something. Most of the things we crave end up having a dark side and can be outright destructive. In the past, I would lean pretty heavily on alcohol as a means of coping with my work and relationships. You can only guess how well that went. I wouldn’t have considered myself an alcoholic, but I did drink one or two nights a week, typically on a Friday night. I was a binge drinker and would drink until I was really drunk and passed out. About six months ago I decided to quit and while there were some initial cravings they went away over time. Just looking at this example the price of attachment was pretty significant in terms of my health and the psychological crutch it had become to help me deal with my problems. Of course, it didn’t help me deal with my problems it only made things worse. I was fortunate and hadn’t done any considerable damage to myself, but I had strained some very important relationships and had used alcohol as an escape that prevented me from dealing with my problems.
Our pursuit of these attachments whether they be an addiction, some kind of unrealistic expectation of others and ourselves, or the fact that we chose materialism over other more important things all came at a price. These attachments often eroded away our integrity, truthfulness, and spirituality. Unless one is very diligent and mindful most cravings have a tendency to increase over time driving the price you pay even higher. The ultimate price you pay for the attachment to craving is dukkha (suffering). The primary purpose of Buddhism is to free you from these cravings and ultimately eliminate suffering. We will next look at ways that can help you eliminate suffering by the cessation of suffering.
Eliminating Attachment
In the Discourse On Right View in the book of Majjhima Nikaya (MN), the venerable Sariputta addressed the monks on the meaning of Right View. In this case specifically on Craving:
“When friends, a noble disciple understands craving, the origin of craving, the cessation of craving, and the way leading to the cessation of craving, in that way, he is one of right view and has arrived at this true Dhamma.”
“And what is craving, what is the origin of craving, what is the cessation of craving, what is the way leading to the cessation of craving? There are these six classes of craving: craving for forms, craving for sounds, craving for odors, craving for flavors, craving for tactile objects, and craving for mental phenomena. With the arising of feeling there is the arising of craving. With the cessation of feeling there is the cessation of craving. The way leading to the cessation of craving is just this Noble Eightfold Path; that is right view, right aspiration, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.”
“When a noble disciple has thus understood craving, the origin of craving, the cessation of craving, and the way leading to the cessation of craving he here and now makes an end of suffering. In that way, too a noble disciple is one of right view and has arrived at this true Dhamma.” MN 9:46-55
In Buddhism, as stated in the Four Nobel Truths the cessation of craving requires that the believer follows the Eightfold Path. I won’t go into each of the steps in the Eightfold Path as that would be a book all by itself, but if eliminating suffering by ceasing all these attachments you have acquired then that is the cure. As Sariputta puts that is the “true Dhamma”.
As a householder myself, I don’t limit my aspirations to just dealing with my cravings (attachments), but I like any follower of Buddhism seek to eliminate them whenever possible. The question for the layperson or even a monastic might be is it even possible to eliminate all attachments?
My view is that it is possible to eliminate all your attachments and if it is not complete elimination to at least lessen their influence on you.
I recently read this quote by Eckhart Tolle that speaks to attachments:
“How do you let go of attachments to things? Don’t even try. It’s impossible. Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them.”
This is a profound quote because as you begin to follow the path many of the things you crave will drop away and be replaced by the Dhamma. You no longer crave more material possessions and many of your attachments will as Eckhart Tolle said just drop away.
Not All Attachments Are Equal
There are those attachments that are simply destructive such as an addiction or a propensity to commit violence versus being overly attached to other people. The first may lead to death while the former may just be mentally unhealthy. I think it might also be useful to consider what a craving or unhealthy attachment is and what a healthy aspiration is. You could make a case for materialism the acquisition of more and more things as an unhealthy attachment, but is the attachment to your family or to your practice a form of craving you need to eliminate?
I think the answer to determining if something is a craving you need to eliminate lies in the aspiration behind it. If this craving creates suffering it is an unhealthy attachment on the other hand if your attachment is born from a healthy aspiration such as helping other people then it leans more towards being a worthwhile behavior versus a destructive craving.
To a large degree, the success you have in eliminating attachments will be commensurate with your devotion to your practice. For you or anyone else to free themselves from suffering caused by craving requires change. To be clear Buddhism is not the only vehicle invented to end suffering. Many of the popular religions of the world such as Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Hinduism have a similar goal. The key difference is Buddhism offers a road map to end suffering in this lifetime. No deity or heaven awaits the end of suffering is available now. It would help if you believed that most of your attachments are causing the suffering you experience and you need to be willing to devote time to your practice, otherwise, the cyclical nature of craving resulting in suffering is inevitable.
Life After Attachment
There are some questions that naturally come up when one seeks to eliminate attachments. What is your life like after the destruction of attachment? Do you just fade away? Are you now just wandering through life with no goals or purpose?
I feel there are a lot of misconceptions about Buddhists. My posts are geared towards the householder or layperson, someone leading an active life, but practices Buddhism. I can’t speak to those Buddhists who live in a monastery and devote their lives solely to their practice, other than say they have devoted their life to their practice, which provides them more time to focus on it.
I can only answer the question about life after attachments have been eliminated from a personal perspective. To begin with, this whole idea of eliminating attachments is a process and I have not come to the point of eliminating all of my own cravings. I do have a realization as to what I am attached to and some understanding of the price I pay for these attachments. If nothing else I am mindful of my shortcomings and work to address them. I’m not sure that I will ever fully be free of attachments, especially to my family. This would also indicate that I have not attained Nibbana (pali) word for being enlightened. Looking at the lives of Buddhists such as the late Thich Nhat Hanh or the Dali Lama one doesn’t get the impression of some unfeeling person, instead, they appear to have been people full of life and joyous.
The question of will you still have goals? My answer is you most definitely have goals, but they may be less self-serving. Those goals that are for the betterment of the world will contribute to your peace of mind versus causing the suffering you have been experiencing chasing your cravings. As the attachments fade away your life will become fuller, you become more present, and even the way you perceive time changes. If you think that by eliminating attachments you become some non-feeling person who no longer can experience joy, love, and compassion you are mistaken. Instead, you may be eliminating anger, resentment, and greed.
Conclusion
Is there a middle way between the complete destruction of all attachments as might be a goal for a bhikkhu or nun vs. a layperson.? Even the realization and control over your attachments and desires is a positive step in the right direction. The answer to this question is directly related to the goal of your practice. If the goal of your practice is complete renunciation of all cravings and attachments then you are headed towards trying to realize Nibbana. I personally don’t believe all Buddhists must make this the goal of their practice, for the layperson or householder it may be sufficient to remove as many attachments as possible so that you are not in some state of continuous suffering (dhukka).
I think it is important that you realize that an aspiration to end suffering is not craving in itself. Think of this aspiration to end suffering as a desire. After all, you need this aspiration to be diligent in your practice. Even the fading away of a few attachments in your life will make a massive difference in the quality of your life. If it is any level of peace and mindfulness that you seek then your practice should be leading you to eliminate craving. Living in continuous suffering is the opposite of what the Buddha wanted for us.
Please comment or like. I would be very interested in your opinions on this topic.
How can you experience the possibility of living an extraordinary life if you continue to cling to the past, or maybe more accurately relive the past over and over?
Well, you can’t!
So there must be a reason you repeat the same pattern of existence day after day. Maybe it is a fear you won’t achieve your financial goals without clinging to the life you have now. Do you think that after all these years you couldn’t possibly do any better financially unless you keep your shitty job. How many more hours, days, months, and years will you spend waiting? Your past has become your present and your present has become your future.
Do you have enough faith in yourself to do what you want to do, not what you feel is safe or reasonable?
Deep inside you realize that what you want from this life is just a decision away. The realization that each day is precious and that the future is what you make of it should be enough of a reason to stop living in this self-imposed prison. You spent most of your life living and doing for others, and now it is time to do something for yourself. Take back control of your life. Get off the fucking hamster wheel and put the past in the rearview mirror.
Planning Over Action
You don’t need another fucking plan, for Christ’s sake that’s all you do is create plans. Your new and better life only becomes available by taking action in the present moment. Fuck the plan, act!
Planning is great but only to a certain degree. When it gets to the point that 90% of your time is spent planning your future instead of acting to make it happen, you are in trouble. So you have a great idea for starting a business and you have identified the skills you will need and made a plan to acquire those skills. That’s great, now it is time to learn those new skills and execute your plan. If you wait to make sure you have planned out every little task and you have researched yourself into a coma then that opportunity may just slip away. I am personally guilty of this one. I plan out goals and reset them over and over instead of doing the things to achieve them. Guilty as charged!
You become so mired in the planning and second-guessing yourself that you aren’t accomplishing anything. You need a goal and a plan to achieve that goal, but as you probably have experienced nothing seems to go exactly as planned. There is a quote out there and I’m not sure who to attribute it to, but it makes my point.
If The Plan Doesnโt Work, Change The Plan, Not The Goal
Your plans will change as you learn more about what you are seeking but don’t give up on your goal. Your goal is created in your imagination expressing a desire or a dream. The point here is to not get into an infinite loop of planning without taking action. Revisit your plan periodically, but make sure most of your effort is not spent planning. If you like ratios maybe Action to Planning should be 10:1.
Desiring Certainty
It’s not like you don’t have any interests outside of your job as is the case with some people. You know exactly what you want to do, which is what makes not doing it such a tragedy. No, you my friend won’t take this leap of faith because you need certainty. There is no certainty in this world. You could be fired tomorrow, fall prey to a disease, or be hit by the proverbial bus. If you truly believe there is no certainty other than as the Buddhists would say that life is suffering then you could drop this whole charade.
Here is a certainty for you. If you keep clinging to the past it is certain to repeat itself and your dreams of a better life will go unfulfilled. Truly exceptional people understand that there is no certainty and they accept it. Once you understand that nothing but suffering is certain then the whole world is available to you. Just to clarify even though life is suffering there is a path to the cessation of suffering, so even suffering isn’t 100% certain. My advice is even though we seek certainty, we will never really find it. Seeking certainty is a human trait that we have used for thousands of years to help us survive on this planet. Now your desire for certainty is just an impediment to making progress. Stop It!
Brainwashing / Social Conditioning
Is it the fear of the unknown or have you just become so brainwashed and conditioned that even though the guards have left the building and opened the gate you still remain in your prison cell? Oh, hell it’s probably a little of both. Habits can be a tough thing to break, especially those that don’t serve you anymore. Maybe you have been working in a profession for twenty years or more. You feel safe in the knowledge and skills you acquired over the years. It would be nearly impossible if your whole identity wasn’t associated with this role/profession. You have become a Doctor, Lawyer, Software Developer, Security Architect, Plumber, Teacher, Social Worker, Electrician, or whatever it is you do for a living.
In fact, this profession has become your past and it has an effect on all the other factors that are holding you back from pursuing your goals, passion, or dreams. It might be that you didn’t start out wanting to be an Accountant your whole life, but over the years that is exactly what happened. It’s not only you who see yourself in a particular role, but so do the people close to you. You will hear people say that human beings are creatures of habit. That may be where it starts, but ultimately you have been brainwashed or conditioned and this role becomes your identity. You might think you are a role that you play, but you are just assuming that role for some period of time. You are a multi-dimensional being and as such you are capable of learning new things and assuming different roles, so if you spent twenty-plus years as say an Accountant it doesn’t mean you need to spend the next 20 years in that role. That’s why I like Jim Rohn’s short but profound quote:
If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.
Jim Rohn
Lack Of Confidence
Maybe it’s not just the brainwashing or desire for certainty that is holding you back. Maybe it is a lack of confidence in yourself, a feeling that changing the direction in your life and doing something completely new scares you to death. Every time you thought about doing something else in the past you talked yourself out of it. You would say to yourself that you can’t learn the skills you would need for this new type of work or even take up a new hobby. Deep inside you know that’s just bullshit! I mean how much did you know about your current role ten or twenty years ago, or back when you were in High School?
Did you ever wonder why some of the stupidest people in the world become so successful? Well, one of the things they are not lacking is confidence. In fact, I would hazard to guess that they sometimes border on being egomaniacs. I’m not advocating that you become an egomaniac, but instead, realize you have infinite potential if you just begin believing in yourself. Look at your track record and all the things you have achieved and succeded at. You need to understand that you will develop the skills you need to achieve your goals. You may not possess them now, but put in the effort and you will succeed and this will help you overcome any lack of confidence you currently have.
Advice From Those Close To You
If you love what you do for a living then keep doing it, but if you’re working at a job that bores you to death or worse yet, you hate it, move on. One of the other things that could be holding you back from taking the leap besides desiring certainty, brainwashing, or a lack of confidence may be other people. Is a family member, a spouse, or a friend advising you to keep doing what you are doing? Many of us have been raised to take care of others as our priority. Does any of this sound familiar? You don’t want to disappoint people close to you and switching careers could directly affect them. It isn’t really your uncertainty that is stopping you, but instead, it is theirs. The thing is that when it is all said and done, this life you have is actually yours, but you don’t really view it that way. Hey, you and most of humanity are either totally self-absorbed or people-pleasers.
Remember as we reviewed your own uncertainty and conditioning well those close to you also see you as a role(s), and your desire to do something different with your life is unsettling to them. Don’t be surprised when you discuss your goals with them if they aren’t ready to get on board with this new plan. So should you continue to live your life for everyone else? Hell No!
If they cannot support the new life you want to lead then here is where you have to get a little selfish. You only get one shot at this rodeo we call life and you can either claim your life or live it for others, it’s ultimately your choice.
Conclusion
We have talked about planning over action, desire for certainty, brainwashing and conditioning, lack of confidence, and advice from those close to you, as factors contributing to clinging to the past. I personally have experienced all of these and it has caused a lot of grief and procrastination. While these factors are powerful forces that keep you reliving the past, they pale in comparison to the pain that will haunt you from not pursuing a better future. These factors are dream crushers and for you and me they become convenient excuses for not pursuing our dreams.
I hope that this post has shed some light on what might be holding you back from pursuing the goals that could lead to a better life. I would love to hear what you think.
This is the first in a series of shorter blog posts created to explore a concept or idea briefly, so “Something to Think About”. I realize that sometimes you don’t have time to read 10 or 20 pages and this is my way of providing a more frequent stream of ideas to provide something to think about. I hope you enjoy, and please post a comment and we can have a dialog..
The ironic thing about life is that as we age we think life will be easier. We can retire and do whatever we want, living a life of leisure. Several things get in our our way:
Our expectation that our problems will go away. As human beings we think too much and set expectations that don’t coincide with reality on this earth. The over active mind will help create new problems for you, real or perceived.
The fact that we are physical beings and will have to experience a decline in our body. This results in increasing issues with our health and pain. Now you can slow down this decline to some degree with exercise and nutrition, but you cannot totally avoid it.
The very idea that I will wake up every morning seeking some form of leisure may end up getting old after a while. If this is your sole purpose, then you will soon find that you can only play so much golf, eat, sleep, walk, read, or whatever your thing is.
So you go from struggling everyday with all those normal responsibilities like making a living, paying your bills, dealing with difficult people, all the time waiting for retirement to simplify your life. In essence we are looking to the future to alleviate our stress and problems, so we can live the easy life. The reality is that if the purpose of our life is seeking pleasure then we are likely to end up disappointed and maybe worse depressed.
I’m going to be blunt here and I hope I don’t offend anyone. I really fucking hate the word retirement when used in the context of the attainment of the of easy life. As the Buddha taught life is not easy in fact it is filled with dukkha “pain and suffering”, much of it imposed on us by our perceptions. Often in life, a change in circumstances is just trading one problem for another. Maybe you will have less stressful problems when you retire, but they will be traded for an increasing awareness of your own impermanence. This increasing awareness of impermanence brought to light by declining health and your friends and family leaving this world, is an opportunity for great wisdom and appreciation for your own life.
I did mention this would be short exploration of the “Easy Life”, so let me summarize and bid you au revoir. Don’t spend your life wishing you could do less, seeking some hedonistic existence. Instead look at your new found freedom as the opportunity to double down on your purpose. Remember you woke up today, so you can spend time learning something, helping someone else, and doing something useful. Time to pay it back, to your family, to your community, to the world at large.
I would love your thoughts on retirement and the so called easy life. Let me know what you think in the comments.
Namaste
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It has been quite a while since my last post In The Buddha’s Words and I have no valid excuse for not being more prolific with my writing. This post will provide a justification if you will for using mantras when meditating. I like many of you suffer from a monkey mind that cannot seem to turn itself off while sitting on the cushion. All the thoughts of things you need to do, issues in your life, and a general inability to let it all go are preventing you from just focusing on your breathing. One method of blocking out the monkey mind is to use a mantra during your meditation practice.
Hinduism.ย a word or formula, as from the Veda, chanted or sung as an incantation or prayer.
an often repeated word, formula, or phrase, often a truism: If I hear the โless is moreโ mantra one more
This definition is somewhat incomplete as mantras are used in Buddhism during mediation and have many other uses. A mantra can more generally be described as repeating a word or phrase as a way of programming your mind as those who believe in the law of attraction, but in our case, the mantras I’m interested in will be used during meditation and not used to manifest anything.
If you are at the point in your meditation practice where you don’t need a mantra or two to block out the monkey mind, then more power to you, but for me, it’s a useful practice. The mantra I am using currently using goes something like this:
There is no pain, there is no suffering, there is only peace and contentment
I am saying these phrases to myself, not audibly, but thinking them. On the first breath “there is no pain”, on the second breath “there is no suffering”, on the third breath “there is only peace”, and finally on the fourth breath “and contentment”. By taking the time to think about each of these sub phrases individually during each breath you increase the emphasis on the meaning. The mantra can totally block out all other thoughts as it is repeated over and over again. For me, the act of meditation is about leaving any state of pain, suffering, and creating a state of peace and contentment.
Note I’m not trying to manifest a new car or more money. I’m also not trying to bolster my ego by telling myself how great I am, nor am I trying to practice some bullshit self-improvement technique. For me, meditation is not some tool I use to create a better version of myself or God forbid correct all my faults. As the Buddha taught pain and suffering exists all around us as an innate result of experiencing life. I prefer even if it is only during my meditation session to create a state of no pain, no suffering, only peace, and contentment. You might view this as an escape from life, but I contend it is more than that. I’ve come recently to experience my meditation practice as more of a revelation of what is truly authentic. Maybe another way to put it is that through meditation I am experiencing my most authentic self. I’m not saying meditation is the only way to be more like who you really are, but it is certainly one of the best ways. Most other activities in life have you playing a role, trying to gain something, achieve a goal, satisfying some desire, or are generally concerned with improving some aspect of your life by doing stuff. You know, the way we spend the vast majority of your days.
Most human beings are very goal oriented always seeking to improve themselves, gaining some satisfaction from checking off one goal after another on the list, but strangely enough still largely unsatisfied with their existence. This strong attraction to acquiring things and the subsequent brainwashing that has occurred over the many hundreds or years has done nothing to nurture our true nature or foster even a modicome of self awareness. If someone deviates from path (norm) they are either lazy or insane by the standards of society. Meditation and the use of mantras can help you undo some of this conditioning. The Buddha provided the Noble Eightfold Path as a means of escaping all this self induced suffering. Regarding meditation and the discovery of your true self the focus should be on right mindfulness and right concentration.
Other mantras I’ve used in addition the afore mentioned one includes:
Zazen is life
I am here, I am present
I am happy to be alive today
I give thanks for the Buddha, I give thanks for the Dhamma, and I give thanks for the Sangha
If I have any advice it would be to not make your mantra too complex. Shorter phrases fit better within the span of a breath and can be more impactful. You can also intersperse periods of just observing your breathing and when the monkey mind begins to take over, go back to your mantras.
This post will be purposely short and to the point. It originates from a bit of journaling this morning. I like to start my day with a grateful practice, but my thoughts often turn to other questions about the meaning of our existence on this planet. Enough said, here is the journal from this morning:
Journal Entry
I am grateful for being alive today, and having the opportunity to live a more fulfilling life.
The question you must ask yourself is what is the purpose of all this? What do you mean by living a more fulfilling life?
Why am I here? Is it to fulfill a destiny, serve others, or to master my own philosophy?
Maybe it is all or none of the above. Maybe it’s as the Buddha taught to end suffering.
Whose suffering? Your own and all sentient beings.
How? For me it must be by writing and actions.
It’s not much of a reach to say we all have more than one purpose for living and these can be noble or selfish, or even some combination of the two. As humans we are fairly complex, possessing desires, dreams, and sometimes selfless motives for what we do.
There are many noble reasons to exist including:
Service to your community
Taking care of your family
Showing compassion for others
Being more mindful and spiritual
Becoming a better human being through philosophy
On the other side of the coin exists our selfish or negative motives:
The accumulation of wealth and material things
Sensory desires like sex, drugs, drinking, etc.
The desire to punish, belittle, and criticize those that are different from us
Wrong thought such as anger, hate, or envy
A preponderance of ego; thinking you are better than everyone else
The selfless or noble motives for your life result in happiness and the selfish in destruction. The choice is always yours alone.
So what is “right action”? According to the Buddha’s words taken from the Pali Canon right action is as follows:
“And what, monks, is right action? Abstinence from the destruction of life, abstinence from taking what is not given, abstinence from sexual misconduct; this is called right action.”
Pali Canon (SN 45:8, V 8-10)
Right action is where the rubber meets the road, unlike “right understanding” or “right thought”, the Buddha is telling us our actions must align with the right thoughts and right understanding. Here the Buddha lays out three things you must abstain from to practice “right action”:
The destruction of life
Taking what is not given
Sexual misconduct
These three things that you are to abstain from are largely driven by morality. To embrace Buddhism means you must conduct yourself in a moral manner abstaining from killing, stealing, and any form of sexual misconduct. Buddhism requires you to change the way you act not just aspire to a more moral way of living. If you have been brought up in the Christian Religion say Catholicism you are familiar with the Ten Commandments. Where #5 is “Thou shall not kill”, #7 “Thou shall not steal”, #6 โThou shalt not commit adulteryโ, and #9 โThou shalt not covet thy neighborโs wifeโ. These four commandments align pretty well with what the Buddha had in mind.
So how does the destruction of life, taking what is not given, and sexual misconduct create suffering?
The destruction of life
In Buddhism, the scope of abstaining from the destruction of life goes beyond human life and instead means all sentient beings. I’m going to use the definition below for a sentient being, but I think from the Buddha’s perspective it meant any human, animal, fish, or insect that could experience pain and thus suffer.
โSentientโ is an adjective that describes a capacity for feeling. The word sentient derives from the Latin verb sentire, which means โto feel.โ The first letters, โsen,โ match the beginnings of common English words including sentiment, sensory, and sensationโall of which give hints as to the meaning of the term. In dictionary definitions, sentience is defined as โable to experience feelings,โ โresponsive to or conscious of sense impressions,โ and โcapable of feeling things through physical senses.โ Sentient beings experience wanted emotions like happiness, joy, and gratitude, and unwanted emotions in the form of pain, suffering, and grief.
Sentience: What It Means and Why Itโs Important, By Jane KotzmannApril 8, 2020
If sentient beings feel pain then it reasons that the killing of a sentient being will cause suffering. There is also the premise that causing pain to others harms us, making us more callous, ruthless, and less compassionate, morally bankrupt if you will. That is probably an understatement, but take even what we often consider to be innocuous destruction of life like killing a mosquito or some other insect that has invaded our personal space. I would suspect that many who are on the path would consider even that transgression as a violation of the abstinence of the destruction of life.
From a Buddhist perspective, the destruction of life means all life that can feel pain, which is people, most animals, reptiles, fish, types of marine life, and yes even insects. Make it simple on yourself and try not to kill anything that moves. Makes you think, doesn’t it? Let’s say a rodent or lizard invades your domicile, while your first inclination is to figure out some way to terminate their life as this is most of the time the most expedient and permanent solution, but as a Buddhist, you start thinking how can I capture them and release them outside.
Taking what is not given
From the Buddhist perspective-taking what is not given is more accurately thought of as stealing from someone. Well, that’s the way I interpret it. It is obvious that this will cause suffering for whoever you stole from. Through the ages, this has been a doctrine of all civilizations, one that is punishable by laws prohibiting it. Not only do you harm the person you stole from, but you are likely to end up in prison where you experience all kinds of suffering. The immorality of theft is rarely questioned in most societies, and the consequences are often dire. As one who follows the path, you also suffer ethically, undermining whatever integrity you had to begin with, as your conscience will plague you, not only suffering the direct consequences, but also the guilt that follows.
Sexual misconduct
There are numerous forms of sexual misconduct in this world, but a few come to mind that violate the norms of most societies. Cheating on your spouse or partner, also known as adultery comes to mind. Many marriages and relationships have been destroyed not to mention the harm it does to the family. For many, this breach of trust is devasting and causes immense suffering for the person that was cheated on. Then there are the lowly pedophiles that prey on children, scarring them for life. Other deviants will commit rape on their innocent victims, again causing horrific suffering to the person that was raped. Let’s keep this simple, a Buddhist does not perform any form of sexual misconduct. If you are having any issues understanding why or what constitutes sexual misconduct you need help.
Summary
Much of the pain and suffering in this world comes from killing, stealing, and sexual misconduct. The Buddha knew this and made sure that his followers abstained from these behaviors if nothing else on purely moral and ethical grounds. The converse of these destructive actions is promoting moral, honorable, and peaceful conduct, that is “right action”.
Namaste
I wish you peace and happiness; may your life be filled with compassion, kindness, love, and forgiveness towards others.
Let your practice help you end suffering for yourself and all other sentient beings.
Note: I wrote this post using Grammarly, which really helps. Give it a try, it works with WordPress and Google Docs.
In my last post Root of suffering according to the Buddha, it was declared by the Blessed One that desire was the root of suffering. However, there is one exception and that is when desire is used to understand the dhamma. In one of the discourses from the Pali Canon, where the Buddha speaks about the steps towards the realization of truth he states:
“Desire is most helpful for application of the will, Bharadvaja. If one does not arouse desire, one will not apply one’s will; but because one arouses desire, one applies one’s will. That is why desire is most helpful for application of the will.”
(from MN 95; Canki sutta, II 168-77)
One might infer that desire is a double-edged sword; maybe one edge is the desire that causes suffering and the other edge a desire that can be applied for good. Is this possible? You may have a desire to help others, be of service, learn the dhamma, or a desire to end suffering for sentient beings. I actually prefer the word craving, as to extinguish all desires especially those that are focused on positive outcomes would seem nearly impossible. Craving while a synonym for desire seems to have a more sinister connotation at least in my mind. Think about it in these terms:
A heroin addict craves a fix
An alcoholic craves a drink
I am craving ice cream
Craving seems a bit stronger when associated with some form of addiction. Maybe we can just accept that all desires will not result in suffering, but there is always the danger that what we thought of as a healthy desire may someday result in suffering. I just wanted to clarify that the Buddha did have different interpretations of the word desire. Sometimes it is just better to consider that the suffering we experience has its roots in desire and craving, but is often caused or manifested in attachment.
As we know from the Buddha’s teaching the cessation of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path. In this series of blog posts, I would like to explore each of the factors of the Eightfold Path as they apply to ending suffering and how they address attachment. In this blog post, we will start with Right Understanding sometimes referred to as Right View.
I’m going to use a definition from the Tricyle.org website (reference at the end of this post), which I feel is a good description of what Right Understanding (Samma ditthi) is:
“Right understanding is the understanding of things as they are, and it is the four noble truths that explain things as they really are. Right understanding therefore is ultimately reduced to the understanding of the four noble truths. This understanding is the highest wisdom which sees the Ultimate Reality. According to Buddhism there are two sorts of understanding. What we generally call โunderstandingโ is knowledge, an accumulated memory, an intellectual grasping of a subject according to certain given data. This is called โknowing accordinglyโ (anubodha). It is not very deep. Real deep understanding or โpenetrationโ (pativedha) is seeing a thing in its true nature, without name and label. This penetration is possible only when the mind is free from all impurities and is fully developed through meditation.”
Right understanding helps us see the cause of suffering allowing us to understand how our craving and clinging are actually harming us. Without “right understanding” we would be just tossed about in life, blindly reacting to everything, and being completely oblivious to what is causing our suffering. If you are doing this yourself then “right understanding” is the prescription, but I suspect you are not or you probably would not be reading this blog post.
Once you start to really understand what is causing your suffering you can begin to either avoid the attachment or at least lessen the impact of it. As sad as the loss of a loved one that might include a child, spouse, or parent can be “right understanding” will at least arm you with an understanding of impermanence, which might lessen the attachment you feel. This is always difficult to comprehend as you might think the dhamma is turning you into some cold nonfeeling person who is completely free of attachment. This will not happen to you and when you are faced with the mortality of your loved ones, you will be compassionate and loving to those that are suffering from the loss.
True “right understanding” helps you to see things as they really are, which will take some of the tragedy out of life. I will give you a brief example of where a lack of right understanding led to a lifelong scaring of a person. My father in law worked for a well-known drug company starting with them very early in life. He was very loyal to the company, but when he was about 50 years old the company terminated him and a number of other employees. Fortunately for him, he received a generous pension something that is almost unheard of today. Instead of seeing this as just another bump in the road or something that happens when you work for a corporation he took it as a personal attack. He is in this ’80s now, and he has never forgiven the company, and in fact, he never went back to work. Those of us that do not possess “right understanding” will encounter one round of suffering after another, blaming themselves, or someone else for the pain they feel during their lives.
Cultivate some measure of “right understanding” and your sense of attachment will diminish over time and then you will suffer less. In my next blog post, I will delve into how “right thought” can be an asset in your quest to end suffering for yourself and others.
This little graphic above is a quote I shared on Instagram. In my previous post, I wrote about the Cause of Suffering from my own experience. Here I would like to discuss the root of suffering as spoken by the Buddha from the Pali Canon one of the earliest discourses on what the Buddha actually said.
The backdrop to this discourse occurred when the Blessed One was dwelling in a town of the Malans named Uruvelakappa. The Bhadraka the headman approached the Blessed One and he said to him “It would be good, venerable sir, if you would teach me about the origin and passing away of suffering.”
The Buddha goes on two provide three examples that illustrate how desire is the root of suffering:
The people of Uruvelakappa
The headman’s son
The headman’s wife
The premise here is for those that the headman holds desire and attachment, will ultimately cause suffering if they were executed, imprisoned, fined, or censured. For those where there is no desire or attachment, there is no suffering. Here is an excerpt from (SN 42:11; IV 327-30)”
“What do you think headman? Before you saw your wife or heard about her, did you have any desire, attachment, or affection for her?”
“No, venerable sir.”
Then was it, headman, only when you saw her or heard about her that this desire, attachement, and affection arose in you?”
“Yes, venerable sir.”
“What do you think, headman? If you wife were to be executed, imprisoned, fined, or censured, would sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair arise in you?”
“Venerable sir, if my wife were to be exectured, improsoned, fined, or censured, even my life would seem futile, so how could sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair not arise in me?”
“In this way too, headman, it can be understood: ‘Whatever suffering arises, all that arises rooted in desire, with desire as its source; for desire is the root of suffering.'”
In this example from the Pali Canon, the Buddha is posing the question to the headman what if one of those terrible things (execution, imprisonment, fined, or censured) happened to people of his town that he knew and cared about, his son, or his wife. So, in this case, the word desire is also synonymous with people that the headman is attached to.
This desire or attachment may also be applied to material things, status, or power. Think about it for a while. Our whole society fosters desire, claiming that desire is necessary for achievement whether it be a new home, a new car, or a new business or job. We are told that desire equates to achievement, but never to suffering. People with great desire are put on a pedestal and celebrated for the desire that drives their work ethic and attainment of material things.
The Buddha was not wrong, desire begets attachment and attachment will only lead to suffering. What happens when the new car gets damaged in an accident, your son is killed in a war, and your parents die. Even the mere fact that you desire immortality due to your attachment to your life and others will ultimately lead to suffering. Understanding that desire will cause suffering is the first step in the abandonment of suffering.
Namaste
Reference: In the Buddha’s Words, An Anthology of Discourses from the Pali Canon, edited and introduced by Bhikkhu Bodhi
Note: I wrote this post using Grammarly, which really helps. Give it a try, it works with WordPress and Google Docs.
I think we can all agree that there is much suffering in the world. I have yet to find someone that doesn’t feel this to be true. However, as a practitioner of the Dhamma, it is important to realize the cause of suffering. Why are we suffering? Once we understand the causes of our suffering we are in a better position to address the causes. You already know there is the potential to end suffering by walking the Noble Eightfold Path. I like to look at suffering not just from Buddhist definitions, but also from a personal perspective. I would hazard to guess that most of the things I consider the causes of suffering are pretty universal and will resonate with you.
Suffering is caused by:
Craving – It’s pretty obvious that all those things you crave only bring suffering in the end. You might be craving material things, sex, alcohol, drugs, money, status, or any number of stupid things. Time spent craving something inherently brings you pain, feelings of unease, a focus on the future, and dissatisfaction with what you have. For most of us, craving is the #1 cause of suffering and encompasses other causes.
Ego – For me, this means a sense of self that craves recognition because I have some inflated view of myself. We all want to be special, but a life that is driven by ego will forever feel disappointing. We create an image of ourselves based on what we do for a living or how talented we think we are. This is a false self, one we create for this world we live in, not our true nature.
Envy – To some degree, we are envious of others because we crave what they have. We perceive their life to be better than our own. Envy often manifests itself in resentment. We resent that the others have it so much better than we do. They are more successful, have more money, are more attractive, have more leisure time, and the list goes on and on. Instead of being grateful for the small things in life we are envious of someone or some group of people and this causes suffering.
Death and Aging – We realize that someday we or someone we care about will die and leave this earth. This fact alone causes us to suffer, knowing that our time is limited and that we have wasted much of it. As we age we experience pain and the inability to do what we did when we were young and healthy, thus causing more suffering. Sometimes it just comes down to the underlying fear of death that hovers over us every day of our life.
Attachment – “If you observe yourself and others then you will see that people crave for pleasant experiences, crave for material things, and crave for eternal life. We are attached to sensual pleasures, wealth and power but also to ideas, views, opinion, and beliefs. Taken together, the four types of attachment are the main problems that Buddhists need to understand. The four types of attachment are 1) sense objects, 2)ย opinions and views, 3)ย rites and rituals, and 4)ย self-hood.” Buddhism seeks to break this attachment to these things and ideas.
There are possibly dozens of other causes of suffering, but recognizing that any of these causes may be the root of your dissatisfaction is really a good thing. Without understanding the cause of suffering all the meditation in the world will not lead to its cessation. This is maybe the most fundamental truth that Buddhism seeks to address. Life is suffering, there are causes, there is a solution, and the end of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path.
You will never change your behaviour by changing the way you think until you realize what are the primary causes of your own suffering. These defilements or taints you suffer from must ultimately be addressed and eradicated. There is no Nibbana for someone that does not address their issues with ego, craving, envy, and their own mortality. In my next post, I will make a case for moving your thinking from ego and craving to service, which is another key tenant of Buddhism.
