The Current Expectation

The Happiness Movement

There is a movement in recent times that sets an expectation that we can live a life filled with happiness. Gretchen Rubin wrote a book a few years back called the “Happiness Project” where she expounds on a number of ways to increase your level of happiness. We are constantly subjected to a barrage of advertising that shows us how happy people are with that new car, drinking beer at the beach, or taking expensive vacations to Caribbean. All of these things advocate living a lifestyle that will make us happy forever more. There is a high expectation that if you just buy this, learn this, or do this activity happiness will follow.

corona beach

Unfortunately a consistent state of happiness is probably an illusion, and thinking that it is achievable may be somewhat dangerous to enjoying life. What I mean by this is that you are setting an expectation that is not achievable and this will actually cause you to think something is wrong with you if you are not in a constant state of bliss.

Each of us face so many challenges in our life such as health issues, family strife, making a living, and the list goes on and on. Do you really expect that you will feel happy during what are often very negative events that occur? You need to give yourself the opportunity to feel angry, sad, frustrated, inpatient, as these events unfold. That doesn’t mean you wallow in your pain and conduct a lifelong pity party, but allow yourself some time to express your feelings.

“Life is not a big long beer commercial, much of living is also filled with struggle and challenging situations”.

While it is true you can emerge from a painful situation, stronger and wiser, you may even learn something from it, but you will not be in some state of continuous euphoria.

Instead of expecting a life filled with happiness whatever that really means, be realistic and expect that your emotions will rise and fall like the tide. I really like listening to speakers like Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor, Esther Hicks, Mel Robbins, and Jim Rohn; these people are very motivating and can give you some great tips for being more successful and effective in life. Things like the Law of Attraction and the 5 second rule are great tools for enhancing your life, but like any tool it will have its limitations. Most of the time I hover somewhere in between happiness and sadness, somewhere in the middle, not overcome by either emotion.

My parting advice would be:

  • Feel Happy
  • Feel Sad
  • Feel Angry
  • Feel Pain
  • Feel Frustrated
  • Feel Love
  • Live in the Moment

Just don’t fall into the trap that your life should be one where you are in some heightened state of happiness all the time.

Root of Our Suffering

A certain amount of our life is dealing with pain, it happens to all of us, and we can avoid the suffering associated with it, but it is a difficult thing to do. I like the quote below because it resonates with me. I make no claims to have eliminated all attachment in my life, but I agree it is often the source of suffering.

Root of suffering

Namaste

 

A few ways to be happier

Happiness the minions

If you asked most people what their ultimate goal in life is, probably 90% would say to be happy. Why is being happy such an elusive state of mind for most of us? We struggle to make money, raise a family, buy houses and cars, and with all that we still don’t find a whole lot of happiness in our lives. Over the past 10 years I have tried a lot of things to increase my level of happiness and I wanted to share a few of those things that actually worked for me. So here are few things you might try:

  • If you’ve read posts on my blog, you know I’m a big fan of practicing yoga. It is not only physically challenging, but it also helps you become calmer and more mindful.
  • Meditation is great for clearing the mind, overcoming negative thoughts, and setting yourself up for a great day.
  • Adopt a positive philosophy like the Law of Attraction, Buddhism, or any spiritual practice. You will approach each interaction from a positive perspective instead of reacting negatively to situations. Choose something that works for you. I personally study the Law of Attraction and Buddhism, both have contributed to my piece of mind.
  • Quit caring about everything. I mean it, we all get wrapped up in stupid little things that won’t matter a week, a month, or a year from now. Make what and who you care about a select group, and adopt an attitude of I don’t give a shit about the rest.
  • Stop doing things you hate. I can’t tell you how many people I know go through their work day as a zombie, no smiling, no laughing, and it is all drudgery. You were not meant to live that way. Find a way to do something you can get excited about. Look for a way to transition to something better, and in the mean time do the things above and at least you will view the world in a positive way and get some enjoyment out of your current situation.
  • Last but not least, develop a gratitude practice. A truly grateful person will appreciate what they have and all the good things that are to come.

Namaste

 

 

 

 

Make Yourself Happy

We often wish for something that we are experiencing to change so that we can be happy. Maybe we think if I had a better job and made more money, or my relationships were more more fulfilling I would be happier. You know the drill if something in my life would change I would experience more happiness, so we go about trying to make those changes, get that new job, trade in one relationship for another, take up another hobby, and still any lasting happiness seems elusive. I would agree sometimes these changes are for the better, and may enrich our lives in numerous ways, but they do not lead to happiness.  Why?

Can you please take me there?

Can you please take me there?

We are all looking for something or someone to make us happy, and unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. You can’t make yourself happy with things or people, this only leads to seeking the next conquest. Ever got a promotion at work? This may have given you some sense of satisfaction for a while, maybe a sense of validation for all your hard work. How quickly did it all wear off? A week, a month, or maybe just a couple of days.

Alright smart ass so what is the key to happiness? Well for me I have found only one answer and it will cost you nothing, but pay you back in so many ways. You must sit and meditate. A couple quotes from Buddha might help.

There is no path to happiness: Happiness is the path.” Buddha

So you cannot seek happiness through those things we think will make us happy. Only you can make yourself happy. My claim is that meditation sets the stage for you to acquire the happiness yourself.

Buddha was asked, “What have you gained from meditation?” He replied, “Nothing!” “However, Buddha said, let me tell you what I lost: Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Insecurity, Fear of Old Age and Death.”

Meditation will help you lose those things that affect your ability to be happy. After you have been meditating for some time you will begin to notice that when your meditation session is complete you immediately become less judgmental, critical, and on the flip side you become more compassionate, more connected to others, and more present.

Try my free happiness prescription, after all what do you have to lose?

Namaste