Tag: happy

A few ways to be happier

A few ways to be happier

Excuse the Minions above, for some reason I associate them with happiness. They make me laugh. 

Introduction

If you asked most people what their ultimate goal in life is, probably 90% would say to be happy. Why is being happy such an elusive state of mind for most of us? We struggle to make money, raise a family, buy houses and cars, and with all that or maybe because of all that, we still don’t find a whole lot of happiness in our lives. Let me be clear about this post. These are a list of some of my own personal practices and I never intended this to be a comprehensive list of things that might make you happy. It’s not even close to a comprehensive list for me, thus the title a “A few ways to be happier“. 

I always get a little chuckle out of the following quote:

john-lennon-happiness-quote-on happiness

Practices

Over the past 10 years I have tried a lot of things to increase my level of happiness and I wanted to share a few of those things that actually worked for me. So here are few things you might try:

  • Yoga – If you’ve read posts on my blog, you know I’m a big fan of practicing yoga. It is not only physically challenging, but it also helps you become calmer and more mindful. One of the things I really like about yoga is you can easily transition from a yoga session to meditation. As with meditation Yoga has a focus on the breath and mindfulness, which is why it is intertwined with meditation. A related post that I wrote some time ago that you might find interesting “How Yoga & Meditation saved my life“.
  • Meditate – Meditation is great for clearing the mind, overcoming negative thoughts, and setting yourself up for a great day. You don’t need to be a Buddhist to meditate. In fact even if you have a somewhat secular view of the world meditation is available to you. Of course meditation is commonly found in most spiritual practices. One of my first posts on meditation “Meditation Experiences Uno” that you might check out if  you are new to meditating. Another post having to do with expectations you might have for your meditation practice can be found at “Meditation – Expectations“.
  • Adopt a positive philosophy or spiritual practice – From a philosophical standpoint you might look into Buddhism or Stoicism. If that is not your thing then look at the spiritual practices such as Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or Hinduism. Whether it is adopting a positive philosophy or spiritual practice you will need to spend time in your studies and practice to obtain the benefits that are possible. You will approach each interaction from a positive perspective instead of reacting negatively to situations. Choose something that works for you. I personally study Buddhism and Stoicism, both have contributed positively to my piece of mind. A related post you might want to check out “The Stoic Buddhist“.
  • Quit caring about everything – I mean it, we all get wrapped up in stupid little things that won’t matter a week, a month, or a year from now. Be selective about who or what you care about, and adopt an attitude of I don’t give a shit about the rest. I’ve written a whole post on this subject “You Care too Much“.
  • Be present – Sounds easy, be present, live in the present moment. With all the things going on in your monkey mind being present is often very difficult. Thoughts of what I need to get done, my problems, anxiety, and out of control emotions are making it darn near impossible to just be present, but that’s where the happiness resides. Now this might just be for me, but I have always struggled with being fully present and it seemed I needed to master a lot of the other things mentioned in this posts before I could live fully in the present moment. Being fully present became the result of my Buddhist practice, yoga, meditation, not caring about everything, and not driving myself crazy doing things I hated. I’ve written about living in the present movement a number of times. This is a post I wrote a long time ago “You live in the future” that you might find amusing.
  • Gratitude – Develop a gratitude practice. You can do this with a journal of some type, some kind of affirmation, or as part of your meditation practice. A truly grateful person will appreciate what they have and all the good things that are to come. It has been said that he or she that is truly grateful for what they have leaves little room for unhappiness to creep in. If you have time check out “Grateful for the life you have“. 
  • Stop doing things you hate – I can’t tell you how many people I know go through their day as a zombie, no smiling, no laughing, and it is all drudgery. You were not meant to live that way. Find a way to do something you can get excited about. Look for a way to transition to something better, and in the mean time do the things above and at least you will view the world in a positive way and get some enjoyment out of your current situation. 

Conclusion

Obviously you don’t need or probably even want to do all of the things above, but even if you choose just one that you are not doing consistently today it could make a big difference in the level of happiness you experience. Interestingly, each of these practices mentioned above take a fair amount of commitment and discipline. You won’t start meditating tomorrow and magically reach enlightenment in a couple of days. Starting a grateful practice will not create instant happiness and a new philosophical or spiritual practice will probably not change your life in a week. 

Just like going to the Gym for a few days doesn’t create a lot of new muscle or endurance, but over time adopting these practices can be life changing. While there are many other ways to increase your happiness, those I have listed above are available to most of us should we choose to pursue them. 

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Namaste

But I Can’t

Random Thoughts / Poetry

But I Can’t

I catch myself complaining about things

Let it go

I expect things to turn out a certain way

Expect nothing

I will be happy when such and such happens

Be happy now

Everything is changing

Change yourself

I can’t do this

Yes you can

It’s too hard to do this shit

No, it isn’t

I’m too tired

Do it anyway

No more excuses

 

Namaste


This post was proofread by Grammarly.

 

Driven

Random Thoughts / Poetry

Driven

We make so much of every situation

It all seems so important

A heightened level of anxiety becomes our natural state

We are told to escalate for every issue

Everything becomes critical

Our life is one of hyperactivity

Driven to achieve by ourselves and others we are exhausted

Is it any wonder we are so unhappy?

We are asked to do more and more with the same amount of limited time

Our life is now dominated by schedules and to-do lists

The pace we set for our life cannot be sustained

We seek the answer in meditation, yoga, Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, Judaism, and any other number of ways to calm our mind and give our life meaning

The days become a blur as they pass us by

You tell yourself someday I will jump off this hamster wheel, once I earn a little more money

That day never happens and you die never having really lived

Is that really what you want from your life?

Stop deferring your fucking life

Today I will jump off the hamster wheel even if for an hour or two

Once I taste freedom I will cease to jump back on the wheel

Remember the world will always try to pull you back into the vortex

Only you can save yourself

 

Namaste

 

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Nothing to become

Random Thoughts / Poetry

Nothing to Become

We spend so much time and energy searching for the meaning of life

Always looking for a purpose

Is it success at work?

Is it material things?

Is it happiness?

All this seeking is exhausting

Be patient it’s just around the corner

Am I there yet?

Where is my purpose?

Maybe there is nothing to find

Nothing to become

Maybe we are to just be

 

Namaste

 

If you would like to support this blog, check out the awesome selection of eBooks at:

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If eBooks aren’t your thing, check out my Resources page for additional ways to support this blog.

Visit my other blog Inspirational Book Reviews where I review some incredible literature.

 

Living without expectations

Random Thoughts / Poetry

Living without expectations

I diligently followed my expectations

Things didn’t turn out the way I thought they would, leaving me disappointed and unfulfilled

I set a new goal and the pattern repeated itself leading to more disappointment

I decided to try again but without any expectations

I let things unfold as they will

No expectations, no disappointment

Learning to live without expectations

Namaste

 

If you would like to support this blog, check out the awesome selection of eBooks at:

Mind, Body, Spirit books at eBooks.com

If eBooks aren’t your thing, check out my Resources page for additional ways to support this blog.

Visit my other blog Inspirational Book Reviews where I review some incredible literature.

 

Always Seeking

Random Thoughts / Poetry

Always Seeking

We are always seeking to improve ourselves

We think if I master this or that I will be content

We pursue a litany of goals only to achieve them and still feel unsatisfied

We think once I have this or that I will be happy

We wish our life away

We are never happy as our goals and desires are a moving target

We never live in the present moment

Namaste

 

If you would like to support this blog, check out the awesome selection of eBooks at:

Mind, Body, Spirit books at eBooks.com

If eBooks aren’t your thing, check out my Resources page for additional ways to support this blog.

Visit my other blog Inspirational Book Reviews where I review some incredible literature.

The Current Expectation

The Happiness Movement

There is a movement in recent times that sets an expectation that we can live a life filled with happiness. Gretchen Rubin wrote a book a few years back called the “Happiness Project” where she expounds on a number of ways to increase your level of happiness. We are constantly subjected to a barrage of advertising that shows us how happy people are with that new car, drinking beer at the beach, or taking expensive vacations to Caribbean. All of these things advocate living a lifestyle that will make us happy forever more. There is a high expectation that if you just buy this, learn this, or do this activity happiness will follow.

corona beach

Unfortunately a consistent state of happiness is probably an illusion, and thinking that it is achievable may be somewhat dangerous to enjoying life. What I mean by this is that you are setting an expectation that is not achievable and this will actually cause you to think something is wrong with you if you are not in a constant state of bliss.

Each of us face so many challenges in our life such as health issues, family strife, making a living, and the list goes on and on. Do you really expect that you will feel happy during what are often very negative events that occur? You need to give yourself the opportunity to feel angry, sad, frustrated, inpatient, as these events unfold. That doesn’t mean you wallow in your pain and conduct a lifelong pity party, but allow yourself some time to express your feelings.

“Life is not a big long beer commercial, much of living is also filled with struggle and challenging situations”.

While it is true you can emerge from a painful situation, stronger and wiser, you may even learn something from it, but you will not be in some state of continuous euphoria.

Instead of expecting a life filled with happiness whatever that really means, be realistic and expect that your emotions will rise and fall like the tide. I really like listening to speakers like Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor, Esther Hicks, Mel Robbins, and Jim Rohn; these people are very motivating and can give you some great tips for being more successful and effective in life. Things like the Law of Attraction and the 5 second rule are great tools for enhancing your life, but like any tool it will have its limitations. Most of the time I hover somewhere in between happiness and sadness, somewhere in the middle, not overcome by either emotion.

My parting advice would be:

  • Feel Happy
  • Feel Sad
  • Feel Angry
  • Feel Pain
  • Feel Frustrated
  • Feel Love
  • Live in the Moment

Just don’t fall into the trap that your life should be one where you are in some heightened state of happiness all the time.

Root of Our Suffering

A certain amount of our life is dealing with pain, it happens to all of us, and we can avoid the suffering associated with it, but it is a difficult thing to do. I like the quote below because it resonates with me. I make no claims to have eliminated all attachment in my life, but I agree it is often the source of suffering.

Root of suffering

Namaste

 

Make Yourself Happy

We often wish for something that we are experiencing to change so that we can be happy. Maybe we think if I had a better job and made more money, or my relationships were more more fulfilling I would be happier. You know the drill if something in my life would change I would experience more happiness, so we go about trying to make those changes, get that new job, trade in one relationship for another, take up another hobby, and still any lasting happiness seems elusive. I would agree sometimes these changes are for the better, and may enrich our lives in numerous ways, but they do not lead to happiness.  Why?

Can you please take me there?
Can you please take me there?

We are all looking for something or someone to make us happy, and unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. You can’t make yourself happy with things or people, this only leads to seeking the next conquest. Ever got a promotion at work? This may have given you some sense of satisfaction for a while, maybe a sense of validation for all your hard work. How quickly did it all wear off? A week, a month, or maybe just a couple of days.

Alright smart ass so what is the key to happiness? Well for me I have found only one answer and it will cost you nothing, but pay you back in so many ways. You must sit and meditate. A couple quotes from Buddha might help.

“There is no path to happiness: Happiness is the path.” Buddha

So you cannot seek happiness through those things we think will make us happy. Only you can make yourself happy. My claim is that meditation sets the stage for you to acquire the happiness yourself.

Buddha was asked, “What have you gained from meditation?” He replied, “Nothing!” “However, Buddha said, let me tell you what I lost: Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Insecurity, Fear of Old Age and Death.”

Meditation will help you lose those things that affect your ability to be happy. After you have been meditating for some time you will begin to notice that when your meditation session is complete you immediately become less judgmental, critical, and on the flip side you become more compassionate, more connected to others, and more present.

Try my free happiness prescription, after all what do you have to lose?

Namaste