Tag: meditation practice

Challenges for the Householder – Meditation

Introduction

This is the fourth post in the series regarding challenges for the Buddhist Householder. I recommend reading each of them in this sequence:

Exploring the Householder Path in Buddhism

Challenges for the Householder – Time to Practice

and my most recent post Challenges for the Householder – Learning the Dharma

One of the fundamental principles for a Buddhist is acquiring mindfulness from meditation. In this blog post, I will outline some challenges the householder faces in adopting a meditation practice.

Meditation Challenges

In some ways, the challenge of learning to meditate is both a time issue and an issue of not having a teacher. Where will I find the time to meditate? How do you learn to meditate without a teacher?

When I refer to meditating I am talking about sitting meditation. Let me address the time issue first. I advocate that one should meditate for 10 – 20 minutes a day. Of course, you can meditate for much longer, but if you are new to meditation 10 to 20 minutes will be adequate. If you make time to meditate for say 10 minutes a day as you begin your practice, then time shouldn’t be much of an issue. I use the 10 – 20 minute range because I’ve found it takes several minutes to get into a mindful state, and any less than 10 minutes of sitting meditation is probably insufficient to be beneficial. Being a householder you will be responsible for structuring time for your meditation practice, unlike at a temple where you meditate say twice a day at specific times.

It’s not so much do I have a teacher to learn meditation, because a householder could find a meditation teacher preferably a Buddhist if they wanted to. The broader question is how do I learn to meditate? Getting some help from a meditation teacher would be helpful, but meditation is such a personal experience, ultimately it’s about you and your meditation cushion. Few things are as solitary as your daily meditation practice and it is meant to be that way.

Learning to Meditate

I’m not going to go into great detail, but instead provide a few tips about creating the meditation practice that supports your overall Buddhist practice. I’ve written several blog posts about meditation that I will share with you here:

Meditation Experiences (Uno) – This blog post covers some of the basics like place, cushions, sitting position, duration, etc.

Meditation Experiences (Dos) – In this blog post I wrote about some of the benefits that meditation can bring to your practice.

Meditation Experiences (Tres) – Within this blog post I wrote about the expectations you should have for your meditation practice.

Mediation Experiences (Cuatro) – I describe how meditation is a key component of your practice providing you a lifeline to address the suffering of everyday life.

Most of these were written some time ago and as their title implies they cover my meditation journey. My meditation practice has continued on a regular basis to this day and as my practice has progressed I would like to share a few tips to get you started including:

  • Place – Buy a meditation cushion and put it in a room where you will meditate every day. This will be the place for your practice. It should be warm, but not hot, and choose a room that is as quiet as possible that will hopefully limit distractions.
  • Expectations – Don’t look at your meditation practice as some kind of transaction. In some forms of Buddhism meditation is the practice. You should not expect that if I sit for 20 minutes something will happen. This is not like lifting weights or running where you expect some results in terms of your physical strength or endurance.
  • Difficulty – I don’t know how to say it in any other way but meditating can seem difficult at times. You will be challenged by thoughts you can’t seem to get out of your head. There will be times when you don’t reach that mindful state you are seeking; just do it anyway.
  • Focus – As you begin your meditation practice focus on your breath, the inhalation, and the exhalation. If this isn’t working count each breath this will help drown out other thoughts. Breathe in and as you breathe out think 1, then 2, etc. until you have counted to 10, and then do it again and again. Focusing on the breath and counting the breaths will assist you in calming the monkey mind.
  • Doing not Studying – While I have read a few books on meditation my advice is there is a marginal benefit in studying meditation in that way. Meditation is a practice and there is no substitute for sitting on your cushion. I don’t recommend using music to get into some kind of mood. This will just distract you from being with yourself. I would also add that consistency is more important than the duration of your meditation. If you sat for say 60 minutes, but only did this once or twice a week you would have been better off sitting for 10 minutes every day.
  • Alternatives to Breath Meditation – There will be times when you are having problems following your breathing and your monkey mind goes crazy as thoughts rush into your mind and overcome your focus. There are a couple of techniques you might consider in addition to counting breaths:
    • Come up with a mantra that you would repeat to yourself silently such as:
      • “There is no pain, there is no suffering, only peace, mindfulness, and compassion“, repeat that over and over to drown out other thoughts. This is just and example, come up with something that is meaningful to you.
      • Another mantra might be around being grateful, such as:
        • “I am grateful for the Buddha. I am grateful for the Dharma. I am grateful for the Sangha.”
    • As you stray from your focus on the breath, just be mindful that you are doing so. You might think why do I have these thoughts? This is the mind watching the mind. You are aware of your thoughts and looking at them for what they are, just thoughts. Try to bring yourself back to observing your breathing. The most important thing to realize is that this is all perfectly natural and you will experience this over and over during your meditation sessions. Don’t beat yourself up over this as it is just your mind straying from your original intent.

Conclusion

Let me be very clear if I haven’t been so far. Meditation is a core practice in Buddhism. You can read all the scriptures in the Pali Canon, but if you don’t meditate you are not a Buddhist. You will learn about Buddhism from reading and videos, but unless you are meditating you are not practicing Buddhism. Meditation will help you learn about yourself, assist you in ceasing to think about the past and the future and immerse yourself in the present moment.

Learning to meditate consistently is a challenge for any Buddhist, especially the householder. All of the discipline is on you and you alone. Learning to sit in one position for 10 minutes sounds easy, but some days it is anything but easy. You will experience days where you do not want to meditate, days where you are consumed with problems and your mind is racing and the last thing you want is to sit on the cushion and meditate. Another day your lower back may hurt and you are in pain in the sitting position. Other days you have a full schedule ahead of you and want to make sure you get it all done, so you skip your meditation. Much of this is just because your meditation practice is not yet fully integrated into your life, into your routine.

In a way, you can liken your meditation practice to any good habit you adopted. Some people say it takes 30 days before something becomes a habit, other people say 90 days. Don’t make excuses that give you a reason to skip your meditation session. I have a routine where I take a shower, do about 20 minutes of yoga, and then begin my meditation practice. It has all become kind of automatic. Do I ever miss a day? Occasionally when on vacation or if I am sick, but these are the rare exceptions. Here is a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh on meditation:

“Meditation is not meant to help us avoid problems or run away from difficulties. It is meant to allow positive healing to take place. To meditate is to learn how to stop—to stop being carried away by our regrets about the past, our anger or despair in the present, or our worries about the future.” Thich Nhat Hanh

In my next post I will cover the challenge for the householder to attain enlightenment. Let me know if you found this post useful by posting a comment and a like.

References

Sangha – A word used in many Indian languages, including Sanskrit which means “association”, “assembly”, “company” or “community”; in these languages, sangha is frequently used as a surname. In Buddhism, sangha refers to the monastic communities of bhikkhu (monks) and bhikkhuni (nuns). These communities are traditionally referred to as the bhikkhu-sangha or the bhikkhuni-sangha. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sangha#

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Meditation Experiences – Tres

Nice quote by Edgar Cayce

This is the third post on my meditation experiences. In Meditation Experiences – Uno, I spent some time discussing how I started meditating and the technique that works for me. In the post Meditation Experiences – Dos, the focus was on the benefits that I have received from my practice.

In this blog post, I will make the case that you should expect nothing from your practice. I know this seems contrary to all that we are taught during our life, which normally revolves around if I do something I should get some benefit from it, or in the opposite case maybe it detracts from my life in some way. For your practice to be pure and lasting you must not fill your head with expectations. The very fact that you expect something becomes an ego trip of sorts, where you say to yourself if I meditate then I will become enlightened or I will become calmer, or whatever you might expect from your practice. Before too long, you begin thinking you are superior to the rest of humanity because you have become more spiritual or by virtue of your discipline. I’m not saying that there won’t be benefits that come to you from your meditation practice, but I am asking that you leave the expectations at the door.

Here is the thing with expectations they will make your practice more difficult and may result in you quitting altogether. Let’s say that you expect your practice to make you calmer, more empathetic, or maybe more compassionate with the rest of the people on this planet. The next thing you know someone runs into your car and you start screaming profanities at the other driver, or thoughts of why does this shit always happen to me. Stop expecting your meditation practice to turn you into the Dali Lama and when you stop with all these expectations your practice just becomes something you do. Maybe your practice is actually part of a bigger picture on the road to becoming a more spiritual person who embraces Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, or Islam. I would guess for many of us that meditate it has become just a part of our spiritual practice, and not a thing we do to satisfy some expectation of what we get from it or who we will become.

After I got over the idea that my meditation practice should give me something I dropped all the expectations and it became a habit. What I mean by that it has become like eating, sleeping, breathing, yoga, or any other thing you regularly do. Once your practice becomes a habit, something you just do, you can quit thinking about what is it doing for me. Will you benefit from your meditation practice? Absolutely, but beyond what you might expect is a realization that your practice helps you develop the Buddha-nature that is buried deep within yourself. Maybe what I call Buddha-nature will for you be, Jesus Christ, God, or Mohammed.

This is one of my favorite quotes and I feel is very applicable to your meditation practice:

“I expect nothing and accept everything” Gary John Bishop

Take this to heart as it applies to your meditation practice and all will be well with you.

Namaste

 

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